DanceLiveLoveLaugh(:

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal, the story of life.

2011-03-16T22:12:00.003+08:00

All i is somebody to love. And one that loves me the same way i love him.

I'm not evil, i'm just a nice person.. With low bullshit tolerance.

2011-01-13T20:48:00.002+08:00

I know it has been damn damn long since i last posted, and i'm so sorry! But after i got well, then sch started. And the drama continues. Oh well. I'm gonna go and google ltr what is the meaning to life. For right now, i am lost. Right now, dance and studies shall be my priority. In my free time, meet up with friends go lepak lepak and fool around. I'm like, 13 going 14. Life now, just live and enjoy lah! Hahaha. Think so much for what? Fairytales are for princesses, and happily ever after isn't planning to come so soon. Won't be posting often due to sch cause i damn tireeeed lah deyh. Tomorrow when i wakeup, it's a new life, a new game, a new me. Right now, all i need is to cool down. Gonna otp with friends alr, post again soon.

xoxo, Eunice.

I want my life back.

2010-12-28T05:05:00.004+08:00

I won't be blogging for a few more days i'm guessing. Sorry for posting bout this so late. I've been so sick, i can't sleep, can't eat, i vomit out everything that i eat/drink other than plain water & tea. Hais. I'm sleeping only 1, 2 hours and i wakeup puking my guts out and not being able to go back to sleep due to too much pain. I just vomited blood just now. Gosh. I hate this feeling. I feel like i've lost control of my body, i feel like.. Hais. Dancing means the world to me, and if i can't control my body, how am i suppose to dance? Hopefully i get better soon. If not i need to go into the hospital and be put on drip. I won't be using the computer for some time cause seeing the graphics make me want to vomit again and i'm constantly feeling dizzy so.. Yeah. Even when i stand up i feel like the world is spinning and my vision is blurrred. Sucks ttm now.

Never take your life for granted.

xoxo, Eunice.

What's destined will come to be.

2010-12-22T21:57:00.003+08:00

I shall not post much for today as : #01 I'm still sick, i feel like crying & #02 I'm watching Got To Dance. Matthew Khoon, WOAH. Anyone who can see him dancce and not feel anything, is HEARTLESS. And i love MJ manzxc, he's awesome(: Till here yeah. Maybe later tonight or tmrw then post okay!

Never give up, nothing is ever worth it.

xoxo, Eunice.

Things change, people change; It's time i let everything go.

2010-12-21T18:52:00.002+08:00

The past is something that we all can't change, and yeah, our regrets are like a haunting melody that for now, seems like it will never stop. But 2010 is going to end soon and a new year is coming. It might be better, or who knows, mught be worse. But i think no matter what, we should end all grudges, misunderstandings and etc by this year end. By the 31st, all shall forgive and forget, and start a new life! I settled a dispute today and yeah, many friends call me stupid for forgiving him but still, God teaches us to forgive & forget. So that is what i shall do.

I've a past a really regret, but i'm gonna end it all now, and next year. You'll see a new girl. As we walk our path of life, we meet people everyday. Most are simply met by chance. But, some are sent our way. These become special friends whose bond we can't explain; The ones who understand us and share our joy and pain. Their love contains no boundaries. So, even we are apart. Their presence enhances us with a warmth felt in the heart. This love becomes a passageway, when even the miles disappear. And so, these friends, God sends our way, remain forever near.

I'm thankful for this life because i have You.

xoxo, Eunice.

A good-bye is never painful unless you’re never going to say hello again.

2010-12-20T23:33:00.000+08:00

Sorry i've not been posting for he past few days. Haven't had the time nor energy to do so recently. Thursday & friday has been going out with the girls & Zhisheng. Nowadays, i'm so tired to even get up from bed. I wonder, is it because of lazyness.. Or because of the fear that.. When i wakeup and face the world, it'll disappoint me again? Honestly, idk. Really sick on saturday and sunday, had been having a bad stomach and kept vomiting. Got slightly better but got headache now. Sheesh, but i can't sleep, idk why.

And recently, i've been so confused. So many things are in my mind now. I really really regret my past. It's killing me, it's like pulling me down. Somehow, i gotta fight the battle. I don't know how, but i will. Because i have God. There are three stages in every great work of God: first, it is impossible, then it is difficult, then it is done. So, i won't worry so much. I don't know what i'm feeling. Hais. Life is so complicating, and full of regrets. And you two, are definitely on my top list of regrets. It's so scary.. Your apologies mean nothing anymore. I can't trust you anymore, even if i want to.

I'd rather learn way harsher lesson through anyone else, then learn that lesson by you two. You two, especially you, left me a scar. Scars are like memories, and tattoos. When you fall, when your heart breaks, and when your best friend turns her back on you, it leaves a scar that can hurt every-time you think about it. It’s a memory that is stuck in your head. It’s in the past, but it comes back and bites. It’s a tattoo because it’s a memory that hurts, but doesn’t disappear. It never does. When you see it so vividly, you sometimes regret what led to the scar that is a memory that leaves an imprint in your life’s history.

I gotta let my past go,
I can't keep on getting hurt like this.

xoxo, Eunice.

I miss the days when tying my shoes was the hardest thing to do. Now it's learning how to smile when everything inside tells me to cry.

Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes…just be an illusion.

2010-12-15T04:01:00.004+08:00

But honestly, if love was just an illusion then.. I don't mind getting tricked one day. I was watching this show and it was the most romantic thing ever! I know i'm too old for fairytales but still, which girl.. Honestly, has never ever looked at one of the most romantic films and go "One day, i don't know when, i want to be just as lucky". Love, is a complicating and beautiful thing. Love builds bridges where there are none. Life without love is like a tree without fruit.

Honestly, i don't really believe at my age, love is possible. Or at least one that lasts forever, but i do believe there's such thing as love at this age. But for me, i don't want it now. I want it when i am older. Cause the next guy i love, i want it to be forever. I know, sounds so impossible. But sometimes, i'm still a little immature girl who just wants to have a happy ending. And honestly, i believe in not having love now.. But i don't believe in not having love forever. For only love let’s us see normal things In an extraordinary way.

The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

xoxo, Eunice.

You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough.

2010-12-14T20:10:00.007+08:00

No matter what you do there will be critics.

I'm back! Been only a few days, glad to see most of my readers are still here :> I've made a decision, to go after my dream. To live the life i always wanted but was so scared to go after because of the fear of getting hurt. Fact is, everyone is going to hurt you, so why not? Afterall, happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true. I'll do whatever i have to, to live my dreams. I'm a stubborn girl, and i'm not willing to look back years later regretting that i didn't take the risk. I guess it is better that when i fail, i fail with a smile..

Then for me to frown for the rest of my life, living with that regret. Afterall, happiness is the best face lift. The next few months are gonna be tough, but i know, i just have to do it. I want to live my life, not exist. People can live one hundred years without really living a minute. I don't freaking hell wanna be one of them. The only real failure in life is the failure to try. Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure. Life is what you make it to be. So don't blame anyone for the things that didn't happen cause you were too afraid of falling and failing.

Life is simple, you make a choice and don’t look back.
-But when you do, make sure it screams everything but regret.

xoxo, Eunice.

There will be a moment in your life where you’ll just want to give up but you must push yourself to continue its those moments that make us stronger and make that next moment just a little easier. never give up on yourself and others will never give up on you.

Dancing can reveal all the mystery that music conceals.

2010-12-10T20:09:00.003+08:00

There are short-cuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them. Not only that, so is accepting Christ. And what makes it so wonderful is that, the first happens everytime you do it, anytime, anywhere. And the second, is the key to happiness.. For your whole life. Powerful isn't it? (: You have everything to gain, and nothing to lose! Anyway, i tell you man, taking public transport sucks ttm at times okay. Especially for girls. I mean, everyone has had that awkward moment whr thr's this weird looking old guy who keeps looking at you and you feel like digging his eyeballs out right?

Damn ewwww lah, please lorh. And even worse! Those perverts who take advantage of you by rubbing their "thing" against you on a packed bus/mrt, please lorh. I feel like telling those uncles "Are you seriously that pathetic you have to do this? Get a prositute if you want pleasure!" Damn erxin ttm can? Haiyer. Anyway, today was a complicating day. Many things happen :x but yeah, i'm not gonna post that. Okay, i know i said i was going to start camwhoring but.. I forgot. So, hahahaha. Photobucket pics once again. YAY.

I'm really very bored now, sad. I'm confused with smth, ahhhhhhh. Can't stop thinking about! HAIS. P/s: I'm fine luh :/ I always daydream about stuff that probably is never ever going to happen, but yet.. One small part of me knows it will. And when it does, i realised it isn't such a fairytale like how i'd imagined it to be. Hais, i'm screwed. I don't get myself, so many mistakes i've made before.. and i know it is so damn wrong, but i still do it cause it feels right. Hais.. One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.

So prove it to me you know what love is.

xoxo, Eunice.

"I do not try to dance better than anyone else, i only try to dance better than myself."

Maturity is not about speaking or doing the big things, it's actually about understanding the small things.

2010-12-08T21:29:00.002+08:00

Just because they look good, doesn't mean they act good. Be friends with everyone, but only trust your best. Who you attract depends on how you act, so you can't blame anyone for anything. Life's tough nowadays, and i haven't been acting the best. But today's CG really woke me up! Many things have been happening & it hadn't been easy, but thanks to Jianming, i feel a peace i've not felt for a long time. You know that feeling when everytime you go, or maybe just hear that place that you love so much, you have that peace&warmth. That's what HOGC is to me, & i can't live without it! Anyway, sorry ytd i didn't blog cause i was kinda busy :x anyway! I'm gonna watch Got To Dance alr, shall post again tmrw. Byebye loves :>

Apologise for the things you did wrong.

xoxo, Eunice.

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.

Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.

2010-12-07T01:34:00.005+08:00

Dance is a delicate balance between perfection and beauty.

It's midnight now & the reason i'm posting at this time is firstly, my damn connection failed on me and i manged to get it working by plugging in this thingy, and actually i planning to off comp liao since got dance tmw but seeing that i need to get more readers.. I'm blogging! And i tell you ah, the thingy sibeih mafan. Cause i need to move my lappy to the living room, and plug this long ugly yellow wire to my super chio hotpink lappy and the mio box. Which makes it so irritating since i can't put friends on loud speaker anymore & well..

I need to move my lappy out when i' m using & put back into my room when i am now. SAD. And wanna blackshot hen hard siah! So wo keep kenna own.. Actually cause i suck but still, i wanna blame on the thingy(: I changed my blogsong to chinese, slow songs. Figured having The Veronicas' music suddenly blasting can be shocking to many people, :x You know horh, i hen hen long nvr camwhore liao siah! Miracle right, hahahaha. Shall do so soon bah, gonna bomb my blog with my pics! Hahahaha. For now, sorry horh :x Bear with photobucket photos. Hehehehe. Anyway, i use to be a really horrible person, really.

And i kinda misunderstood this person, and yeah.. Both of us were ass but still, i need to apologise to him! Can't seem to find him though. Oh well, i believe one day, i will. Hope it comes soon. You know, life isn't perfect. So, live it to the fullest, don't exist. Apologise when you're wrong, and even when you aren't, saying sorry sometimes doesn't mean that you're wrong. It just shows you value the relationship more than your own ego. Laugh when you're happy, smile when you're sad. Cause life's too short to have regrets. I've had many regrets, none of which i am proud to say. But at least i'm changing.. And yeah, i'm forever imperfect. SO WHAT?

Imperfection is the biggest perfection.

xoxo, Eunice.

I see dance being used as communication between body and soul, to express what it too deep to find for words. To watch us dance is to hear our hearts speak.

Dancing with the feet is one thing, but dancing with the heart is another.

2010-12-05T22:08:00.007+08:00

Dance is the hidden language of the soul ;
Some of which you know how to express, some of which you don't.

There is a bit of insanity in dancing that does everybody a great deal of good.

2010-12-04T21:18:00.007+08:00

Dance is a song of the body. Either of joy or pain.

Hello people :>

Today's a sad sad day, a very sad one. As to why so, cause i didn't go to church ): Long story behind it, smth i do not want to post on worldwide Internet :x Anyway, finally done with almost all of the dance thing! Except for one last one.. Shall do it on monday. And i just remembered i've smth called holiday assignment. Please tell me i'm not the only idiot who has not touched it yet (and probably lost it alr).

Meh. Anyway, rewatched Matthew Koon like.. Five hundred over times today.. I'll nvr get bored. His dancing brings me so much emotion (in a very very good way). Looking at him dance reminds me back to the very first time i fell in love with dancing. Feeling is just simply amazing. My stamina's very bad, so i'm gonna head Mr. Gerard's advice & start to work on my stamina, gonna dance dance dance everyday! Hahaha. Okay, till here for now. My head is totally killing me ):

Dancing is like dreaming with your feet.

xoxo, Eunice.

Dancing is the loftiest, the most moving, the most beautiful of the arts, because it is not mere translation or abstraction from life; it is life itself.

Perfect is boring, human is beautiful.

2010-12-03T17:39:00.007+08:00

I hate those moments, right before you go to sleep when you are forced to think about everything you tried so hard to forget..

Hey readers :>

The header is so freaking true, no one is perfect. Even being perfect, is imperfect. I'm attracted to imperfection, cause the more flaws it has.. The more beautiful it becomes. It's an art that not many people see. When I was young, i yearned for perfection, now, all i want is to be imperfect. I slept at 4am ytd (actually today), i was up reading My Sister's Keeper. Gonna watch the show once the buffering is done. I'd dare say, best book i've ever read so far. It's ending, made me cry. Seriously, you will regret if you don't read this book.

& the only way you won't be able to feel the story is if you were.. Well, i guess, heartless or retarded ttm and understood none of the storyline. But the second one is more likely since i can't picture anyone asshole enough not to feel touched by the story. Reading the end of the story, brought me to think.. Where am i in life. What the hell am i doing with my life? It's all bullshit, ain't it? So, i decided to stop. Well.. I'll live my life, but normally. Enough with the secrets, & all those things i'd probably never have the guts to say.

Reading this book, i've learnt many things.. Actually, it was all recapping the memories of what my life used to be like. Thinking that i HAD to be perfect. That when you were born unwanted, you better be good, cause when the reason you are here on the earth, living, is gone, you will be too. People might not understand, but i do. A story i left unspoken, one i'd swear i'd never say. My life was hell until i met Him. And right now, honestly, my life has all the cons, but i have one pro that owns everytime, I've God. He gave me meaning to a life i never really had.

He came to save me, from myself.

xoxo, Eunice.

Love was just like a rumour to me; Everyone talked about it but I never really knew, they said it made a person everything they could be, I ponder and wonder; could that possibly be true?

Go for the happy ending , cause life doesn't have sequels.

2010-12-03T00:37:00.002+08:00

Hello loves :>

It's midnight & i really should be sleeping now, but i'm just not tired. Idk why actually, i woke up so bloody early this morning ._. I'm practically just otp, text, msn & fb chat now. I alr bs for like.. 2hours today, teevee nothing nice is on ( plus my parents outside watching some 1960s movie ) & i've nothing else to do. I discovered my new inspiration to dancing today! Matthew Koon, looking at him dance touches my heart & makes me cry. AND, he reminded me why dance was my life. Been so long since i last saw a dancer like him, woah.

Sadly, he didn't win Got To Dance ( i don't understand why ), but oh well. He rocks ttm still. You know, i've been looking through ALOT of my bestieh's profile, some from my past. One thing i've realised; things are never the same you left them to be. Everyone's changed, including me. To some people, i've grown to be better. To some people, worst. To those who knew the real me, know who i am today is a big diff. Memories still haunt me, but i'll get through. Life doesn't stop for anybody. I'm gonna webcam with friend lerh so i'll post again soon.

Loveyou bitches&bastards.

xoxo, Eunice.

"Dance- an art form. The body- an instrument. Learn to play the instrument and master the art form." -Debbie Dee

I'd rather regret the things i said then those i left unsaid anytime.

2010-11-29T20:55:00.004+08:00

You see yourself in the pouring rain, no one to pull you out of the storm.

Hello my beloved assholes :>

I'm feeling like such a total bitch now, awesomezxc. Don't ask why(: Heee. I wonder, have you ever stared in the mirror & wished, for a moment, you could be someone else? And when it happens, even just for a second.. Even the pain is beautiful? I did. This world is so damn sadistic & hard at times huh? I'm surprised i'm still living, but i know. There's a perfectly good reason why, Him & only Him. i'm the luckiest & yet the unluckiest person in this world(: I've awesome&perfect friends, & yet i have the worst of the worst too. I'm loved by bastards, yet hated by bitches.

I fake a smile everyday, yet all my laughter are true. I've friends who understand me, even when i don't.. Or at least i don't want to. Real friends are not those who make you feel happy, but those who make you feel comfortable. They said this to me "BITCH, take off that mask now. We know you, this ain't you. We're here, they're gone, it's over." Ohmygosh, FML. It rocks. We're all capable of making ourselves happy, but happiness is somewhat different when someone else does it for us... it's sweeter. I tried to tear away, i tried to run. I knew it was suicide, but i still did it. Outcome; I killed myself all over again & yet, i still can't do it.

Oh well, that's life.

xoxo, Eunice.

Now what I see reflection there, an injured, bloodied mass. Step away, no need to view; Reflection now is shattered, for the view, I used to see; Now, no longer mattered. The person seen, I knew as me, was changed by a misjudgment, and now the ones, who threw the stones, have marred what I now see.

You can't see how we're connected; which makes seperation all that much more difficult.

2010-11-28T21:22:00.007+08:00

Hello stalkers :>

I'm glad to know all my stalkers are back, posting that you are back to blogging on fb is a good way to advertise your blog(: Hahahaha. Talking bout that, p/s: Click on my nuffnang ads tyvm. Been reading 'My Sister's Keeper' since morning till like, evening since i was stucked outside and was dying of boredom. Awesome book ttm. Not done yet but soon, they are at court alr, *suspense*. Mehmeh, sound like some nerd talking bout book.

Okay, today go that wedding dinner, sibeih boring can? Sit thr, look arnd, stare stare, go home. Currently blackshotting with friend, minimized cause he need go do idk what ._. Next week should be awesome, got 3day chalet, hehehehe. Sadded that i can't stay overnight but as long as i reach home by midnight, no prob. I like, some gu niang today can. Wear dress, then the hair like dk what. Eeyer ttm. Okay, i now go back to BS lerh, shall post again soon. Tonight or tmrw, see how. And will actually post about smth, not bullshit :> Okay, zaijian.

Loveyou'll darlings.

xoxo, Eunice.

I died a death but stayed alive, in phantom's likeness I survive. Alive, yet dead, I walk alone; In rooms with walls as cold as stone.

Don’t count every hour in the day, make every hour in the day count.

2010-11-22T18:09:00.004+08:00

Hehehehe, if you're wondering what's up with the makeup. IDK.
I found it in my random stacks of photos. 100% not edited yet cause imma too lazy to :x

Harlow whatever readers i have left :>

I know it has been damn long since i last blogged, duibuqi lah. People also got life mah. Hahaha, fine, so it was a total cheat that i said i'd be back to blogging but stopped for sucha long time. But now, it's the holidays and although i'm still going out everyday & the usual drama is still on, i think i'll blog at least once a week. Minimum. I've had 2 performances last last week. Tired ttm. Just moved house, HAHAHA. Love the new room. I shall post bout those in another post, lazy to upload photos currently :X Anyway, OFFICIALLY back to blogging. So please continue stalking me, tyvm. LOL.

Do rmbr to click on my nuffnang ads too. I am forced to go to a malay wedding tmrw of my father's friend's daughter. Yes, completely irrelevant to me. I'm gonna wear a dress tmrw, kenna forced derh. Suppose to meet my dear friends but can't ): Sadded. I miss my ESTAACY ttm, been meeting up often with the Paradorezclique. FB says it is my beloved Superman's bday today, WTH. NOT IN OUR MEMORY BEHYONGJIE. Hahahaha :> Hope nvr rmbr wrongly bah. Been real busy with packing and unpacking house. I shall post again tmrw or monday bout the wedding and slowly post bout the performances & etc.

Loveyou'll darlings.

xoxo, Eunice.

Love's reign over life last eternal; Open to spare and willing to sacrifice.

2010-10-18T20:51:00.003+08:00

I think i'll stop posting till the weekends. Alot of things happening >:
Hais.. Byebyebye, MIA till fri or smth.

You talk it, i live it. You're jealous, admit it.

2010-10-17T21:25:00.003+08:00

The reason i don't talk to you anymore is because i keep telling myself that..
If you wanted to speak to me; You would.

Today wasn't much of a good day. Morning started out bad, had alot of bullshit things happening in the morning. Then after that some crap happened, went out to meet Elena. We lepak the whole day jiu go home alr. Nothing much bah today, i'm so tired. I'm feeling damn shag now anyway, maybe i'll just end the post here yet. Gotta release some stress and right now, my mind's in a daze. I also don't know how to carry on living like this. Oh well, that's life for me. Byebye, >:

I'm looking at the art, i had just made. A simple red heart, that's all I can make. I study the picture, something is wrong. How can a heart, represent something so strong? Love is so big . This heart is so small. I start to feel like, I know nothing at all.

一个伤复原要多久，一道疤痕会多久?

2010-10-16T23:56:00.004+08:00

Relationships aren't meant to be perfect because nothing ever is.

I'm having a major headache now :X Awe, sucks ttm. I'm going to sleep asap manzxc. Probably after this post & few rounds of S.A. then go to sleep bah. Hahahahaha. Ytd night tonned the whole night with friends, so tireeeeed! And today's service was 3hours. AWESOMEZXC TTM. Somehow, i wished it didn't end. I was tired but it was just so powerful lah! Nothing much to blog bout today, not really in the mood anyway. So many bullshit has been happening, i'm lazy to deal with it all you know? Many people are seriously pissing me off, hais. SUA. Till here for now, byeee.

任何时候和你在一起，你都让我觉得如此开心 . 给我的感觉如些特别 , 这份爱如此美好，它真的存在吗？

'A fool in love' makes no sense to me. I only think you are a fool if you do not love.

2010-10-15T21:51:00.005+08:00

Goodbye without reasons is the most painful one. Love without reasons is the most beautiful one.

Today was another usual day bah. I ytd otp with friends till quite late, then i today morning sleep till shiok shiok Benedict called me up (idk his idea or not lah) then ask if want meet ltr >: It was 8am in the morning, then him & his friends whole day keep disturb me :X No, i didn't meet them. I wanted to sleep! Hahahaha, pig, i know :> Then i fell back alseep at bout 10am cause i was seriously damn effing tired? Then i couldn't wake up on time to meet Sammi, sorry babe :X She at my house door i still sleeping. Then wake up, washed up etcetc we go out. Lunched, then movie, then walk arnd peih her buy things etc.

Then she went home, was planning to too but in the end Leon ask if can meet for a while, jiu meet him for a while jiu bused back home. Then reached home, bathed etc, comp-ed for a while.. Otp with friends, msn, fb etc. Jiu go downstairs meet Brendan for a while, he pass me smth, then i jiu go back up. Hmm, gonna go and meet friends go out lepak soon (: Tonning the whole night tonight, awesomezxc. Idk whr we are going yet .__. Hope we decided asap, hahahahaha. Okayokay, till here for now! Shall go get ready, byeeeeeee! :>

In your eyes ; I'm a slut because sometimes i wear shorts & a tank top. I'm a bitch because i don't let you push me around. I'm a liar cause i won't tell you everything bout me. I'm stupid because at times i make mistake. I'm ugly because my face isn't perfect. I'm a whore because i like boys. I'm annoying because i'm not relaxed enough. I'm a loser because i'm not interested in being friends with your group. I'm fake because most of the time i'm happy despite the tragedies. I'm weird because i'm not like you. I'm controlling because i get mad. I'm clingy and friendless because i want to be a friend thr for you. I'm greedy because i like to be satisfied. I'm naive because i am younger than you. I'm conceited because i am proud of who i am. I'm rude because my manners ain't perfect. I'm unappreciative because i don't praise you.

That look in your eyes tells me a story, but your actions tell me another.

2010-10-14T19:50:00.006+08:00

I create new memories to try to replace the old, but we both know it's of no use;
Who could ever replace you? You were a piece of my heart & now you're gone.. So is it.

Back from a long long day. It was quite a suckish day at the start but once again, thanks to the Paradorezclique, my day ended off well :> Hahahaha. Today was Home Ec, quite sianzxc. But the happy thing is that EOY is finally over! Woots! (: Finally. Gonna play and go siao before i get my results back. Today after sch went out with Vicky to movies etc, had fun though got some prob for other crap. Hais, then when leaving her & Ryan to find the Paradorezclique got damn sianzxc derh mood >: But luckily, after lepak-ing, then lan gaming, then doing some other crazy stuff which i do not want to mention, my mood went high high high! LOL (:

Went back at 6pm going 7pm like that, imma good girl eyh. After exam still so early go home. Tmrw movie again with Sammi. Then at night maybe will be tonning the night with the clique! So long nvr ton with them lerh, so i can't wait eyh. Currently watching Vanity Lair. Thr's nothing much to do now, i'm tireeeed & i wanna sleep truckloads. But for some reason, got so many things somewhat to do then so bu she de. Tmrw no sch, shiok! Means can sleep till like some pig :> Ytd otp & webcam with Junjie till like, 12am or smth then call up Deon so today quite shag. Ahhhhh, okayokay. Off to.. Hmm, do smth that i shall not say (: Byeeeeeeeeee darlings!

I'm sorry if i wasn't the girl you wanted me to be, but this is who i am. We were of different worlds, though the memories proved that opposites attract. You left me alone, here, crying. You left my side when i needed you the most without a proper goodbye. Although i've said I hate you now, though I've shout and cursed you out.. Truth be told; I miss you. What do I do when smothering black of night engulfs me ... coldly dark, so dark I tingle with sudden fear. No arms do I need but your arms, & you are not here. But right now, it's time to move on, though the memories still ring in my ears like a beautiful beautiful haunting melody.

I have the capacity to take much more then i believe.

2010-10-13T19:16:00.004+08:00

Did I throw it away? Was it you? Did you tell me you would never leave me this way?

Today was just another usual day bah, except i didn't meet the Paradorezclique today >: Maths Paper 1 sucked, i didn't do two questions siah! Sianzxc ttm. After that went to lan with Ervins, Ryan, ZJ & Vicky and smth damn paiseh happened, but i shall not say what. Played CS for bout half an hour then switch to L4D2, damn funnn siah! Hahahaha. Benedict said i was violent cause i played S.A. ytd, LOLOLOL (: Had fun, after play finish i went damn high! Like some siao zharbor, tsktsk. Then bought lunch, go my house downstairs lepak. Suppose to be studying but in the end just fool arnd. Heart-heart with Vicky for a while, really felt alot better. Thanks love :> I kept laughing when we were eating, idk why also. Cause i'm a little sotdot maybe? Wheeeeeeeeeeee, tmrw last day of exam then can go siao alr! Okay, till here for now! Byebyebyebyebye ;>

Relationships do not need promises, terms and conditions. It just needs two wonderful people; One who can trust and one who can understand.

Falling out of a perfect dream, coming out of the blue...is it true, is it over?

2010-10-12T21:36:00.004+08:00

Is there anyone that's able to melt my rusted and frozen heart?

Currently S.A.-ing though it's exam period :X Not a smart idea, i know i know. Hahaha, but alot of things have been happening and another just bombed up so like.. i need to destress! Today was maths paper 2, didn't manage to finish. Last damn question and the teacher just had to end it >: Hope tmrw's would be better bah.. If not, byebye temasek T__T anway, tmrw's wednesday. Suppose to meet friends tmrw in the morning, ahh.. Sianzxc. Need wake up damn early siah! Worth it i guess. Oh shit, mother just went to sleep and i just realised i forgot to ask her! Damn it, cham liao.. How ah .__. nvrm, i'll find a way :x Sorry if tmrw late hor guys. Okayokay, shall blog till here for now. The guys are spamming my hp asking me to go back to S.A., byeeee!

Now here it comes, the hardest part of all, unchain my heart that's holding on. How do I start to live my life alone? Guess I'm just learning, learning the art of letting go. Tried to say it's over, say the word good bye, but each time it catches in my throat. You're still here in me and I can't set you free, so I hold on to what I wanted most and maybe someday, we'll be friends forevermore. And that would be the moment, I wish I could open up that door.

我想问路; 如果要走到你心里, 该怎么走?

2010-10-11T17:22:00.004+08:00

You say you really know me, that You're not afraid to show me, what is in your eyes.

Timothy just left, he's going back tmrw >: I'm so sad siah! Gonna miss him tons. I just realised recently that i have not been watching cartoons anymore, been about two months? LOL. I'm either old, matured or just have lost interest for no apparent reason. I'm not trying to say cartoons are childish though :X Hahahaha, i just got an Elle magazine. I love the clothes inside manzxc, effing cool (: Thanks Jun Yong for sponsor horh! I've awesome friends yeah? So boreeeeed now, i want some entertainment! Hahahahaha (: I'm hungry now, hmm. What should i eat? Idk ._. Okay, till here for now. Just a random short post for no reason! Byebyebye (:

在爱的途中, 是很甜美. 分手后, 是多么的痛苦. 没有你的世界就不会有我. 黑色的思念, 带满你的笑容.

Never make permanent desicions based on temporary feelings.

2010-10-11T16:02:00.001+08:00

Love is a haunting melody that I have never mastered & I fear I never will.

Hello :> I'm back from school so damn early lah, i'm such a good good girl huh (: Okay, actually is i lepak with friends then my mother ask me go home now if not she take away my new laptop then i go home derh but still.. I'm home aren't i? Today had literature paper, after that "studied" and lunch-ed with Ryan, Vicky & ZJ, then bus-ed to Cyril's house to meet the Paradorezclique, then we fooling arnd halfway the mother come home. Then chase us out so we lepak downstairs block for bout 2hours? Then i jiu be good girl go home alr (: Boring day huh? I still have tuition ltr, sianzxc. Rihanna, Adamn Lambert & Ke$ha rocks, love their songs. LOL. Okayokay, till here for now. Thr's nothing to post & Timothy is coming over alr (I miss him ttm siah! Never meet for so long thanks to that stupid place that steal him from me). Byeeeeeee!

Put away the pictures, put away the memories. I put over and over through my tears. I've held them till I'm blind, they kept my hope alive though they burnt my eyes, as if somehow they would keep the beautiful memories here.

Even the strongest people have their weakest moment in life.

2010-10-10T12:16:00.006+08:00

So tell me about the rumours; Are they only rumours, are they only lies?

Babeyhs :> I'm backk, third day in a row to post! YAY (: Be happy. Tmrw is school so that means exams that means no more comp till thursday.. Most probably :X LOL. I'm so darn tireeeeed now! Ytd tonned the night with my dearest Paradorezclique, hahaha. they said it was 101010 so we had to do smth together! And since today my time is given to church & Christ, decided to peih them while i could. Camwhored alot ytd but shall post it some other time, i'm lazy to upload (: Can't wait for service today! Sadly had to miss fp due to the fact my mother forced me to pack my cardboard things into the boxes ): Finally completed now though! About a month ago i've been falling in love with the fashion and modelling thingies.

Idk why also, but i think very cool siah, the way models.. Model (: LOL. But i heard it is hard for a dancer to be a model, due to the fact dancers always control movement. Never knew that! I always thought dancers made the best models as they know their body and how to work it, hahaha. You know, been thinking so much about life and all the depressing and happy moments. I'm going to be sec2 soon, my EOYs are alr here, a year in TMS is gonna end alr. Like, woah. So many drama and stuff in the past 10months, and now.. The year is going to end! It wasn't the best memories, but they were definitely really awesome (: Okay, till here for now, byeeee!

I've done what i should in all beautiful moments in my life which contains of all sweet and bitter memories. I've forgave and forget. I was once lost, unsure of who i was.. But i'm found and i won't let my past manipulate me. It keeps coming back no matter how much i try to run, but now it's time for me to start fighting against it with my last bit of sanity. After all, those who have no fear of death are the ones who lived their lives deeply, and i definitely have.

Everybody has their different ways of handling life situations, i face mine with sanity.

2010-10-09T21:49:00.004+08:00

He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.

Hey readers :> Back here to post again! Woots (: I think cause it is the weekend so i'm more free to blog, byebye blog for the next four days i guess ): Exams ending this thursday, shiok ah! Finally freedom, LOL. I'm so free this week that i completed 20hours of studying rule despite still going out with my friends! Hahaha, so pro. Today was a fine day bah, bonded tons with Zhi Sheng, was suppose to peih him study.. He studied bout 3 & 1/2 hours while i was texting, revising and reading 'Lipstick Jungle', LOL. Tmrw is 101010! What a cool date huh? (: if any couple gets together, last long ttm! I didn't go church today cause mother wanted me to study.

Even though due to exams we could only go for one service.. I was allowed to go for both but in the end.. I'm only going for tmrw. Feel so empty without service! :X Mehh. Recently life has been the same bah, after school go out study and fool around a bit with Ryan, Zhao Jie & Vicky and at night sometimes go meet the Paradorezclique. Been about two or three weeks since the last chalet cause of EOYS ): my siao friends still playing arnd during exam period, tsktsk! (: Hahahaha. Life quite boring, after the exams i'm gonna go crazy lorh! Finally freedom (: I'm gonna move house soon, getting my own room finally. FINALLY. I'm currently otp with friends, ahhh. So bored ttm. Nothing much to post about now.. Shall post again soon, byeeeeee!

Every memory streaks a cicatrix and every one of it lays a sad story disguised behind her disintegrated heart.

In a blink of an eye, many things have come and go.

2010-10-08T21:57:00.003+08:00

Hello loves :> Woah, been so darn long since i last posted! Used to be daily. Now ? Haiyo, fail ttm! So long nvr update >: Readers from hundred over, now drop till don't know what lerh. Sorry readers! Had like, two major events in the past few months and since life was so busy with that so many other problem, cut away from computer. Sad huh? But still.. Can you believe it?! Two of my dreams have been fulfilled; Mega Concert at Esplanade & YOG (it was broadcasted on teevee & over 2billion people?!)! Gotta admit took up a whole lot of my time and ofcourse i wasn't the only one but still, it was a big deal for me (: Actually more of Mega Concert but nvrm :x

YOG rocked cause bonded alot with the sec1 TMS Freestylers! Woots. And after that i started hanging out and bonding alot more with Jeanette, Cyril, Deon, Leon, Junyong etc etc, so no time to use comp alr. Sadded, then now, here comes EOY! LOL, die ttm. Halfway through it currently, e-revsion today so no school shiok. Went for CG just now, after that bus-ed to meet the clique and reached home bout 8pm? Didn't lepak for long today due to exams. Hahahaha, i'm a good good girl now! (: See! Anyway, shall be reviving this dead blog after the exams but for now if i'm free shall update. So must come back and visit often horh! Click on my nuffnangs beeteeww! Just "completed" e-revision, LOL. Otp now (: Wheeee. Okayokay, till here for now bah! Shall post again asap deariehs, loveszxc :>

There's something better and some things are worth fighting for.

Life's been awesome, busy, but worth it.

2010-07-11T22:57:00.003+08:00

Currently going to be :
MIA !
Too busy with life , sorry deariehs .

Love forever delivers an indescribable sense of fulfillment .

2010-06-28T18:26:00.004+08:00

Hello readers :> In the mood for blogging today so here i am ! Many many things have been happening , still lah . But hor , i'm happy girl now you know . Very happy . Wheeee , people like those don't matter in my life anymore :> They can't & don't affect me , LOL . All i need to focus on is God , ance , my true friends , studies & baby . Hee (: Anyway , ytd was an awesome ttm day with Angeline & Samantha ! YAY , we bonded manzxc . Laughing until my stomach ache at the ending , everyone couldn't bear to go home . LOL . Anyway , shall not much elaborate . My rashes are killing me T__T Tskk , today stayed at home all day . Rashes serious until it took over my whole body & it itched so badly i couldn't even walk ! I might have to stay home tmrw too :x Mehmeh face right ? Anyway , i added in a new column on my blog at the left , my loves deserve some credit right ? & i'll make dedications soon , not yet though . Lazy plus , gotta chiong homework . & i'm missing bi now , mehmeh ): Hmm , anyway . Till here for now ! Byebye loves :> Click on my nuffnang ads please&tyvm !

Never too little or never too much, love's maneuvers to conquer &
Heal what's empty and what's lost gives life an essence of renewal.

Courage isn't given, it is accumulated through experience & pain.

2010-06-26T22:49:00.004+08:00

Readers >: So sorry but shall not be posting bout my day or whatever today, or at least for this post. Mood is seriously bad ttm now >:( I had actually an awesome day but no idea why mood so bad. Haiyo, you know right.. Friendships are so so so troublesome! TSKK. I simply abhor backstabbers, gossipers & especially pangseh kias for friends lah. I hate pangseh kias , those who got new friend jiu forget old . Seriously lah , will dulan one you know . Oh well , but at least we know who are our true friends through this right ? Fyi , people like you stop crying to me everytime you got prob then your that friend forget you come find me hor . I ain't your dog , & i'm gonna start to be a little more heartless . But haiya, nvrm lor i guess. Dulan & everything is yes lah.. But ultimately, i have awesome friends ttm right? Those who really care, don't do all those stupid & immature things to you. Haiyo. Some people are so = =, but nvrm lah. Will okay der. I've my bestiehs , true friends who aren't like that, not bullshit but really true friends. & oh, like i've said before. When you don't know how to be a true friend to people, you will never ever know what is true friendship :> Shall post a dedication soon, confirm. Okay, dulan ttm now. Shall end it off here for now. Bye.

Open to share and willing to sacrifice, love's unselfish demeanor is always a blessing to rely on.

2010-06-26T00:05:00.003+08:00

Hello loves :> Back here to post again, shall not elaborate much though. It's quite early but i should be sleeping soon because of dance tmrw/later! :P Wheeeeeeeee, can't wait. Confirm tio scolding like, damn damn badly but.. Oh well, it's dance, my passion ttm okay(: No no, my lifestyle! HAHA. & oh, just now had dinner with Zhisheng & did a bit of homework, then church-ed, BM for a while then went to movies with DL Zone! Awesomezxc ttm okay(: Sat beside Justine & Huiyu. LOL, Justine & Yunwai to next other & they were damn damn funny okay :/ I kept laughing, gao xiao ttm manzxc(: & Beevan at the start keep disturbing me cause he sat behind me .__. MEH. Movie was nice luh, HAHA. We watched Ip Man : A Legend Is Born! Nice okay, HAHA. Afterwards, chatted with Adrie. Thanks alot Adrie! So happy&glad to know i've a friend who shares the same thought as me luh(: Hee, i'm so glad whatever i'm doing now is like, for the best. YAY. ILOVEYOU :D

HAHA, & ofcourse not to miss out Danette! Thanks so much :> Loveyou ttm siah. So sweet & nice of you today to buy food for me & stuff cause i was sick okay (: I seriously gotta do dedication soon. So many awesome people i want to thank. Gotta thanks Zhisheng, DL5 & actually whole of DLzone for today's AWESOME day! LOL :P & "F", shall not put name lah but you should know who you are okay? Shoot me with whatever you want, but just remember, that just shows me how childish & immature you are. Got guts, tell me straight. & oh, my things are none of your business (: Shoot me all you want, doesn't make me sad. Actually, makes me happier cause seeing how well i am doing without you & yet you are still no offence but kinda pathetically shooting me with statuses or whatever. Hais, nvrm. Good luck with life & hope you will be happy okay (: God bless! Till here for now, otp with Huiqi. Byebye loves :> & oh, click on my nuffnang ads please&tyvm!

Love and obsession are two different things,
One is precious and the other one is worthless.

Debating & contemplating if i should let this friendship & memory go.

2010-06-24T23:33:00.003+08:00

Hello babeyhs :> I'm back from MIA! :D Miss me? Bet so eyh. HAHA. Well, many things have been happening lately. Nope, the problems & situation did not turn for the better.. I guess i just adapted to it to make myself happier :/ But oh well, i'm happy(: & smiling cause i'm happier than before. Why care so much bout these things which really isn't worth that much right? Anyway, feeling happy now, learning to appreciate all the true friends i have & forgetting those who aren't. & i think i'm actually happier currently. Hm? :P My head tells me to give up & move on to the next but my heart whispers to not give in & continue holding on. But now no more alr, i guess when a person doesn't know to appreciate you, don't hold on right? HAHA. Not worth it, so yeah.. So much happier now (:

Eunice&BrandonFTW :

P/s : See that shuai & cute boy in the above pictures?
Yeap, he's my totally awesome Gor - Brandon! Wheeeeee(: Loveya tons, brother.

HAHA. Oh, had an awesomezxc ttm day with Fion on tuesday! & awesomezxc ttm day with Brandon today. HAHA(: We otp-ed all the way from 12:40am-4:58am & webcammed for bout an hour between that time too. HEE, he looks so cute okay. HAHA. But no, i'm not in love with him(: Then met for dinner at bout 5pm++ (: LOL. I'm sad today though cause i fell sick & couldn't make it for dance & PM ! )': CRIES. But oh well.. I gotta recover first for now. Going for movie all together with DL zone tmrw! Yippee(: Gonna be awesome! Meeting Zhisheng for dinner before that, haha. & maybe we are gonna backe together one day(: YAY. Anyway, not gonna post much for now. Should be back to posting alr bah! HAHA. No confirms yet cause i'm currently on craze for Maple, SuddenAttack & Audition! LOL. Okayokay, byebye deariehs.

Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.

2010-06-21T00:25:00.003+08:00

I shall go MIA for the meantime , mood for blogging has been gone . Sorry loves >:
Many things are happening . Shall leave it dead for now okay . Miss me hor ! (: Byebye loves :>

The truth is, if i could be with anyone, it would still be you in the end.

2010-06-17T20:24:00.005+08:00

Hello my stalkers :> I'm not really in a very good mood so i shall just make an extremely short post with a long random thing Felicia tagged me in, heh. Anyway, had a outing with Felicia & Kowit today. Shall post if i feel like, if not, nvrm. Hmm, i think i'm gonna ton & meet them again tmrw but i'm broke >: Oh well. Today i was bad mood all the way. Sadded. Anyway, here goes the thingy ;

How To Play
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. No cheating.
4. With the answers, give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.
5. Tag 5 people.

How are you feeling today?
Heavenly Broken.
> Well, this is kind true. Feeling oh-so broken, hais, sad >:

Will you get far in life?
Cry.
> Means what? I'll cry my way through life? What a tragic story ._.

How do your friends see you?
I Can Make It Through The Rain.
> Oh, they see me as a very strong person who can always go through hard times? Or maybe i always carry an umbrella so i never get wet so i make it through the rain :>

Will you get married?
Dance Like There's No Tomorrow.
> So what? I'll dance on my wedding day? So cool, i want!

What is your best friend's theme song?
Remember The Time.
> We will remember the times we had together? YAY.

What was your high school like?
Revenge Is Sweeter (Than You Ever Were).
> Oh, i took alot of revenge on people :> What a nice person i am huh.

How can you get ahead in life?
Here We Go Again.
> I need to repeat my life over & over again.

Whats the best thing abt your friends?
Good Girls Like Bad Boys.
> Oh, they share the same taste in boys as me :> LOL.

Whats in store for you this weekend?
My Hero Is You.
> I will find my hero ._.

Describe your grandparents.
Paper Cut.
> Their eye got problem so keep tio paper cuts.

Hows your life going?
Leave Me Alone.
> Oh, i want irritating people to leave me alone (:

What song will they play at your funeral?
Circus.
> My funeral will be full of monkeys aka my noisy friends.

How does the world see you?
Anybody.
> Like anybody else, with their eyes ;P

Will you have a happy life?
Rehab.
> I have no idea :/

Do people secretly lust after you?
I'd Lie.
> I'd lie about this answer (:

How can you make yourself happy?
Fall For You.
> I need to fall in love more often, what's this = = BULSHIT :D

What should you do with your life?
Forever In my Life.
> I should stick with people who are forever gonna be in my life (?).

Will you ever have children?
All I Have.
> Yes & No? Idk manzxc :x

What song will you strip to?
Right Where You Want Me.
> Boweigong ttm -______-

What does your mom think of you?
I'm Only Me When I'm With You.
> She think's i'm only myself with her (WHICH IS SO UNTRUE).

What is your deep dark secret?
Last Goodbye.
> I'm afraid of last goodbyes >:

What is your mortal enemy's theme song?
Breakaway.
> They wanna breakaway from me.

What's your personality like?
Forever.
> I'm a person who is for forever (?). Haiya, i'm faithful lah.

What song will be played at your wedding?
Down.
> Let's hope my groom will sing that for me :>

Tag 5 people to do this quiz: Elena, Tianyu, Angteng, Leny, Flavia.

Oh, finally done. I practically just randomly bomb some stupid answer (: Hee. Anyway, doubt anyone's gonna do that. Okay, shall go & try downloading Maple. Bye loves :>

你说我花心，我说你看不懂和看不出我的心。

2010-06-15T20:07:00.008+08:00

Hello babeyhs :> Mood's awesome. Wheee! Had sucha awesomzxc ttm&ttdc day with Elena Laopo. Miss her so much, so happy finally can meet her again luh. Been so so so long hor hor hor? >: One of my bestiehs, been through alot. Woots. Anyway, shall post bout ytd & today yeah? Owe both days an entry, haha :>

Yesterday; 140610.
In the morning was feeling so darn tired, wokeup late. Made Felicia wait for so long, sorraye! Then went to the library busstop, camwhored & chatted while waiting for Darryl & friend. Waited for 20mins or so, bus-ed to Zhisheng's house tgt. Went up thr, slack around. Darryl over thr crap at first, lol :> Then Zhisheng play game while Weiling(?) & Felicia talked then me & Darryl chatted. Bout fighting, Adam Lambert's hair etc etc, LOL! Then he go wash his hair trying to show me how straight his hair can be or smth like that, haha. Chatted all the way till bout 12:30pm then we left for Tamp inter. Zhisheng meeting friend pass him smth, then Weiling went off. We went to KFC for lunch, didn't have much appetite. Money wasted, lol. Then afterwards, walk walk around. Suppose to meet laopo but in the end didn't >: T1, etc etc then library! Over thr crap crap crap, then me, Darryl & Felicia jiu take 293.

2 big rounds around tamp. Zhisheng went back so never went with us. On the bus, camwhore at first, then the couple go sweet sweet while i sat in one corner, listening to music. Brought back many many memories, & well.. memories brings back tears. Cried abit but okay alr lah. But i'm over him alr :> HAHA. I just want to see him happy now. If he is, i'll wish him all the best. Anyway, after that they came my house. Felicia sleep on my bed then me & Darryl keep disturbing her, lol. Cute eyhh. Have her unglams but shall not post, hoho :> Then something happen so Darryl went home first. While waiting for bus something sweet happened! (: Hee. Felicia smiley smiley ah ah. LOL. Same feeling as mine. Hee, it's called love. Anyway, afterward Darryl boarded bus went back my house. Felicia comped, chatted. Went downstairs buy food eat then jiu go home alr. At night, otp-ed with Elena & Caleb. Then went to dreamland.

Today; 120610.
Suppose to meet with ESTAACY, but raining! Then i was having major high fever somemore & a horrible headache, cries >: Anyway, they went for movie in the end. Didn't want to go, i'm broke anyway. LOL. Bad manzxc! Angteng, i said you guys gong movie i not going alr mah ): Hmm. Anyway, slept till like 4pm then mother woke me up. So called Elena laopo, then she came my house. Slacked, comp-ed. Then we went downstairs buy food, bought alot! :> I was hungry & craved for food manzxc. LOL. Then went upstairs. Elena was sotdot all the way, my cute laopo! (L). Was eating & watching Stephen Chow movie, lol, funny eyh. We bought the cup nooddles, black pepper flavour! Nice ttdc & ttm hor hor hor. Then she wear my specs, hee. Then at the middle part we camwhored all the way till almost the ending, lol! We took 100 over photos, haha :> But then only a few is nice der, haha.

At some times lie on her shoulder, haha. Perfect height, wheeee. HAHA. But no, i ain't lesbo :> What a sweet married couple hor? I love my laopo ttdc & ttm, don't snatch & too bad, be jealous! (: HAHA. Okay, i'm sotdot. Finally met her after such a long long time, gotta slack more often once school reopens okay dearieh? HAHA. Didn't do much today but ofcourse, had tons of fun! Anyway, after movie went to my room camwhored somemore. Then she left, sent her to busstop & waited for bus with her. Oh, on the way to bus stop she gave me a card, so sweet eyh. Thanks dearieh! Anyway, then got this uncle don'tknow how to ride bycicle properly der, haiyo = = HAHA. Then after she boarded bus, i went back home. Almost tio bang by one taxi, was blurred at that time cause headace came back >: Still is now, feeling a little dizzy but better with med. Homed, bathe etc etc. Then jiu comp alr(:

& ta-dah, here i am. I really am over him, wow. Shocking to me too but true. & wlao, when i told him he said i was huaxin! :/ I'm not. Can't he jus understand? Oh well, will explain to him when we talk next time. Worried for him now, ytd he tio some things, hope he's fine now. Will be praying, & for my other friend too! Tmrw's revival night! Awesomzxc ttdc&ttm. Will be meeting Felicia for dinner then going off to church. Can't wait! It's gonna be powerful manzxc. Hmm, till here for now. Nothing more to say! Bye loves :>

I'm not coming back anymore I'm closing the door, i used to be trippin' over missin' you but I'm not anymore.
I got pictures in my phone but baby your picture's gone, couldn't stand to see your smile every time you dialed.

I want a truth that draws a tear instead of a lie that draws a smile.

2010-06-14T19:38:00.003+08:00

Hello darlings :> Today turned out an awesome day, yet quite saddening at a major point >: Memories brings back tears, especially those with you. But i'm so totally okay liao lah, haha. So everything's okay.. I guess. LOL. I just need some time, & the right guy. Hasn't karma made it's point? Can it stop now >: Hais! Oh well, i'm thirteen. Young & have a long way to go. Don't feel like posting bout today's day currently, shall post again when i'm in the mood yeah. I realised you being my first love makes it way harder to let go then any love i'm gonna get. But i'll make it through. i just want to remain friends like before, & see you happy with your current girlfriend okay! :> Hee. Anyway, otp with Laopo now, love her many! & oh, i'm clueless bout my lovelife now >: I feel like crying. Okay, whatever, bye!

I can't believe you would build me up & tear me down, just like an old abandoned house.

2010-06-13T22:45:00.009+08:00

Hello readers, feel like smiling now :> But i can't find a right reason. Woah, feel like crying out >: But i'm not sad enough, lol (: Anyway, don't feel like posting bout today's horrible day, so i'll post some emotional feelings that i am feeling now :/ The day i thought i'd never get through is here, count to three & i'm really.. finally letting go. Well, I never saw it coming, i should've started running a long long time ago. & I never thought I'd doubt you, i'm so much better off without you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure, i guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. You were really never the best for me & i'm glad i've fallen out of a beautiful nightmare. I counted so much on you, it's dangerous. You aren't a guy i can trust to love, you aren't a guy i would even dare to safely say you love me even if you were mine. Yes, you are different. You are a guy i can never play with cause you are so different, so unique & special.

But i'd rather fall in love with a guy i can safely love, having the ability to play or love him. I can never read your mind, & you can screw my mind over just by a few simple words. It's so hard to trust whatever you say. I never know when you are true.. I'd rather love a simple guy i can play with or fall in love with, then one i can never ever understand. Sorry boy, but i can't bear to get my heart broken once again. This is a game i can't afford to play, cause i know it's game over & impossible to restart if i lose. So i'd rather walk away right now, the risk is too much for me to ever bear. I'm not gonna hold on, i'm not gonna wait anymore. I'm sorry i'm so weak, but i can never let my guard down with you. Impossible to trust, suicidal to love. We didn't have much between us either, it's okay to let it fly away. If one day, it ever comes back to us, then i know it's meant to be. I'll leave it for fate. Cause the day i thought i'll never get over.. I got over you (: P.s. I just need one guy, just one to prove to me they are not all the same.

I'm gonna hold my head up high, blink the tears away & say goodbye.
'Goodbye' is always the hardest to say only when you are never saying 'Hello' again.

P.S. You still mean everything to me, it's just not worth the fight anymore.

Everytime i try to get my love life straight, it gets screwed & i get hurt.

2010-06-13T02:29:00.008+08:00

Hello loves :> Mood's average. Good mood all the way till just now bad mood. Realised smth disappointing today >: Hmm, why do people like to judge me so much? & think they really know me when they don't? You are no different, what a sad thing to know, hurting too but i'd rather be hurt by the truth then protected by a lie (: The worse thing bout being lied to in the end goes down to not being worth the truth eyh. Anyway, i'm fine luh :> Really (: I'm gonna be. Just gotta decide on what to do with life. I depended so much on you, no longer more. Must thank Darryl, after talking with him.. I realised & remebered smth. Thanks manzxc (: & glad to bond more with you, lol. & i guess some things really are best left unspoken, not to save any hurt, but to not cause any unecessary pain. & some times, many things are not what we see nor feel. Everything can be faked, wow.

What a cynical world we live in huh? But nvrm, faith in God! He has plans for us (: He has plans for me. Whatever i felt for you was purely an emotion build on lie, to make me believe was so beautiful. In the end, it was all a bunch of crap that doesn't even exist for something that is build on something that doesn't exist, is nothing. Chim? Not really ._. LOL. Anyway, yeah.. Felling pretty shag now. But trust me, cry it out for like.. One hour or so & i'm fine luh ;P Stronger than this. Anyway, shall quickly post bout my day as Jeanette's calling me up in half an hour or so! Okay, today was an awesom day ttdc&ttm luh :> Early in the morning, wakeup, give friend wakeup call then washup etc etc, rushed down to meet Felicia & Darryl. Sorry i so late manzxc! :> Then we jiu anyhow walk walk walk, then slack at bus stop. Then Darryl say those jokes trying to make us laugh & our reaction was ._.

LOL. Nice right? Jkjk! Then suddenly my stomach ache like = =, can die! So i decided go home take med since very near. Then walk abit jiu very pain until buey tahan, can die, seriously. Then gonna cry alr, so cabbed thr. Thanks uh guys! Then went up, took med, rest, lay on bed rest for a while. Then tio scolded by mother, LOL. Then alot better jiu zhao far far, haha. Then met back with them, go mac for breakfast, then library slack till Darryl gtg for work. At library Darryl was like high ( quite ), then machiam act like one sotdot (: HAHA! Then afterwards, slack for a while more with Felicia heart-heart while she copying notes ._. Then met Zhisheng, rushed to church! Etc etc, service. Meaningful, learnt bout faith! (: No matter what i'm not gonna lose faith alr. & didn't really manage to go high cause damn tired cause only slept 3hours.

But the songs were nice, sang Hosanna! Wheeeee! (: Hmm, afterwards, LJS-ed with DL5 for a while, didn't eat though. Then Tamp-ed. Waited for Darryl then LJS-ed again, but this time got eat. Then jiu walk walk walk, alot of random crap uh? Then jiu go library, chat, etc etc. LOL. Then go Sunplaza, then library again. So funny. Talk here talk thr one. HAHA. Then afterwards, Felicia & Zhisheng went on bus 27 back home ): Hmm, then me & Darryl jiu go Sunplaza walk then planning walk from thr go home. In the end early so slack at PG until the last minute then go home, LOL. It was fun chatting with you yeah, & yes ah! Tecktonik rocks okay(: Heee. Anyway, tmrw's gonnna be a sianzxc day out. So i'm gonna Hp & music all the way! & i've some thing special for my family tmrw. Hee. Okay, Jeanette called me alr (: Shall end here for this post. & reminder people, don't judge me, i ain't who any of you think i am. Byebye loves :>

Some things are better to live without, & those are the feelings i have for you.
I'm smart enough to know, for the wisest is he who knows what he does not.

I can't tell if i'm lost or found, cause i'm living in a dream & i don't wanna wakeup.

2010-06-11T15:11:00.011+08:00

Hello darlings :> Wheeeee(: I'm in an extremely good mood currently! HAHA. I know, like, woah. Major change from the previous post much? While, after care & concern from my dearests, i'm fine. Though the problems are not yet solved >: Oh well.. Hais, it'll be okay(: I guess so, & i hope so. No, wait, i believe so! Speak into your future mah hor ;P LOLOLOL. I'm sotdot, i know. HAHA. I'm so so happy cause i feel like i've wokeup from a beautiful dream & falling into a beautiful reality(: Okay, minus the problems i have luh ._. They just won't fade away from some reason. Hais. But nvrm, i've motivation, support, care & concern from my dearest. Plus, i've God! But seriously, many many thanks to Felicia, Danette & Caleb! (: Felicia, otp soon okayokayokay? ;P LOL.

I'm currently rotting to death at home. & oh, didn't eat a single thing ytd. onyl dranks water. No appetite at all siah ._. Bad thing is no energy, good thing is lose weight ;P LOL. Anyway, today suppose to have followup with Adri followed by dinner + slack with Jeanette & the guys. But then i need to go to the hospital to help out with smth. Oh well :/ No choice. Anyway, ytd was ... Okay bah(: Day was actually quite sianzxc but many thanks to Felicia&Caleb for making it awesome! LOL. So sorry ah Felicia ._. Pangseh you. But you should know why :/ HEH. Anyway, short post for now. Don't feel much like posting bout ytd's day. Was in a major bad mood. Hais ): Anyway, happy now. Shall not spoil it by reminiscing bout ytd. Okay, byebye loves. Click on my nuffnang ads tyvm! :>

Love is hurtful. Love is hell. But love can be beautiful & can be true. Should i stand and fight, or run and hide?

Smile & let everyone know that today you are stronger than yesterday.

2010-06-10T21:16:00.008+08:00

Hello loves >: I'm sad & in a very very bad mood. Heh :/ Wo yao ku ler! I feel like just bursting into tears suddenly, idk why though. Hais hais hais ): I'm still vulnerable as ever sometimes, like a small little girl. only know how to cry it out, & shout it out onto the world. Don't judge me on this post though. I've so many secrets burning inside of me now, I feel like calling him up. Talking to him, crying it over the phone. But hais.. Maybe not, it won't be such a good idea. I'm still sensitive to such little little things, & i still break down once in a while. I'm human, & i've feelings that i can't control. I just want him to be happy.. I don't mind what ever pain i've to go through for him to get there. Really. I just wish him happiness, i just want him to smile, a true one. So many things are coming on to me now, is there really no one to count on?

I just want one, one totally true friend. Whom no matter, can be thr for me. i know it is impossible, but every wish i make, is a little hope i hold on to every minute of my life. I'll have a proper post tmrw or soon, promised. But right now, my mood is like going down the drain. Today's mood have not been good, faking a smile for the entire day. Sorry if my attitude was bad & like, damn horrible just now. But my mood has been like horrible since 9am this morning. Don't ask why :/ I want to cry it all out, i want someone who is thr to count on, rely on, hear my cries & comfort me. I'm vulnerable at times, though strong always. A mask i've put on every single day of my life is killing me. I'm gonna be strong no matter what though. I'm gonna be okay, i'm sure. I just need the right ears at the other end of the phone, listening to my cries for help..

得到你的人卻得不到你的心 ,

我愿意用我一时的痛苦来换你一生的快乐 .

A moment's insight is sometimes worth a life's experience.

2010-06-10T07:15:00.008+08:00

Hello babeyhs :> Hee, it's so early in the morning! Shocked to see me awake hor hor hor? Well, i didn't wake up this early, puh-lease. I whr got so zai ._. I sleep like one pig der lor. HAHA. The thing was that, i didn't sleep at all last night! LOL. Cause let's see, after kup phone with Caleb, otp-ed with Elena all the way till 2am like that? :/ Then kup, otp-ed with Theon until 3am++. Kup, then i still not tired. So text friends, see who free. Then Deon called me, say he toning with JunYong. So they came to my house void deck, peih me. Gave Elena Laopo wakeup call at 5:30am. Was planning to go back home & sleep but before i left those two idiots make me go high then so awake :x So chatted with them until 6:45am like that ._. Then went back home. Bathed etc etc then here i am(: Wheeee. Bored now! Nothing to do, somemore so damn early in the morning. People still sleeping! Haiyo.

Suppose to meet Felicia, Theon, Darryl etc etc later on at 1:30pm. Not sure now cause father over thr shout shout shout, don't let = = Gonna call mother at bout 10am & ask bah. Hais! Hope can. Plus, so long never see Theon that kumgong alr! ;P LOL. & oh, maybe after that meeting that Caleb ._. He better make it manzxc. If not i slap him upside down :/ I miss that Gor of mine! Been so damn long since i last met him ): & ytd never talk with him until he sleep & i sleep i so not used can :x LOL. Cannot like this! HAHA. Listening to Wedding Dress by Taeyang over & over again, thinking bout him! & watching the MV. So nice siah, the dance i want to learn! The chorus is so.. WOAH ;P Hmph, imisshim. Anyway, bored now! Anyone awake alr? Other than those two idiots who are still downstairs ;P & hope i can make it later on! Till here for now. Click on my nuffnang ads tyvm(: Byezxc.

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling,
But in rising up higher & higher every single time we fall.

Things will happen in your life that you can’t stop but that’s no reason to shut out the world.

2010-06-09T13:50:00.005+08:00

Hello loves :> Well, last night sure was.. awesomezxc(: Found out smth, happy! But ofcourse, for every love there is a pain. He's not mine :< & i know he still loves her, but i don't want him! :x I just want him to be happy, i want to see him SMILE :D It's not even called a "like", it's called "He's unique & diefferent from the other guys i know so i'm interested & feel smth for him but it ain't love"! ;P Zai right? I know very long the name, but true wor. Wheeeee. Moodswing attacked ytd when i was in the phone with Caleb :/ OOPS. Serious siah the attack. I went bad mood, then "drunk-like" mood ( which fyi freanked him out ;P ) then a little high & okay alr ._. I had no idea at all why! HAHA. Talked with him until he fell asleep again. Seems to become like a daily routine of me being his sleeping pill :/ LOL.

Anyway, today's plan? Rot at home then facial then continue rotting. How awesomezxc. Was suppose to meet Caleb but then he got held back, then by the time we meet we can only chat for fifteen minutes ._. Plus, i can't go with him until Sengkang with Caleb to Theon house mah. Guaikia, must stay in tamp. So in the end, say meet tmrw. I doubt i can make it ._. Oh well, try lor, bo bian. Never meet him for long manzxc :/ Cause everytime i can he can't, he can i can't! Argh. Okay, forget it ._. Sianzxc siah today. Me & Felicia's friendship flying up up up liao (: So those people who try to break us up can throw inside dustbin! LOL. & fyi, i simply abhor copycats & people who try to break couples up. Lifeless much? Talking bout that lifelss, woah. I've many step lians & bengs around me you know = =

Some like to act act, dye hair red. Some like to wear like one beng but actually humji kia.Like baby like that. Then got some slut, song shang men one. Break people up, then fit into the picture. Act until so nice. In the end? One slut who steal people boyf. HAIYO. How come i've these kinda people around me? So sad you know, pollution to the environment. See alr also pekcek, but cannot(: I'll learn to love them, as they are something that is sent from God. God put them near me for a reason(: I know it. Anyway, a dear friend has some problem. Will be praying hard alrights ): trust in God, pray through & in faith, & hope for the best! Hais. Don't sad alr okay? Hais hais, so many things are coming up ): Somemore another prob. Feel like crying out! Oh man. Alrights, till here for now. Mood all fly away ler ): Byeszxc.

The most beautiful things in the world

cannot be seen or even touched,

It must be felt with by the heart.

You may be disappointed & hurt if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.

2010-06-08T20:00:00.009+08:00

Hello babeyhs :> Sianzxcdie now okay! Just kup-ed the phone with Elena Laopo, so long bo meet her chat chat slack liao lor! Miss her okay(: Say hao ler meet up soon! I'm free as of today will 24th so people peih me go out okay! LOL. Anyway, today awesomezxc day. Hmm, have been tio by Mr. Gerard damn badly & seriously recently. better buckup oh! I feel so bad disappointing him after he gave me so many chances ): I really can't let my problems affect my dance, unfair to the TMS Freestylers manzxc! Gotta buckup. Stop being blur(: HAHA. Anyway, cabbed to dance today cause fever went up in the morning plus ytd couldn't really sleep so rest till later. Wlao, ytd after kup phone with Caleb then i try to sleep cannot manzxc!

Flip here & thr until 5am sleep. then two hours ltr wake up sleep wakeup sleep = = Also don'tknow sober or not! Then fever biao up ): Then during dance i'm blurred. Fever wentup like hell when i reached home. But worth it(: Cause danced like i never for a very long time! Must train more after getting well. Anyway, Tamp-ed back with dance friends then met Felicia! (: HAHA. Although her baobei Darryl didn't make it & she's sad, but at least we bonded(: She's awesomezxc love! Thanks for the day. I can really talk to her bout anything & she understands! HAHA. Not many friends i have are like her. Anyway, T1, library, TM walked all around jiu diu ler(: In the end she cabbed home. Otp-ing with her ltr. Woots.

I was in a very suan mood today! Keep suan people :/ HAHA. Suan until very shiok somemore, sorry! ._. Ytd many things happen, tio kicked out of house again then went to find Thomas. He help me pay for taxi fare back, thanks hor! (: Awesomezxc you. LOL. Long story. Anyway, don'tknow what's wrong with people now-a-days. Copycats manzxc! = = Don't want say who, i diam. One week time, better mai step alr. Have sense of originality. SERIOUSLY. Pisses me off. Okay, cooling down. Anyway, many things are happening. Gotta keep it cool, gotta play it right. This level of life is hard, but i'm gonna make sure i survive. Watch & see people ;D Just look out. Anyway, till here for now! Otp-ing with Felicia now! Bye loves, click on my nuffnang tyvm! BYESZXC.

A memory is a way of holding on to things you love,

The things you are & the things you never want to lose.

Don't let the fear of our past stop us from taking a leap of faith.

2010-06-07T13:38:00.006+08:00

Yo readers :> Major short post for today as nothing much actually. I've grown fat ): I'm so so fat. I'm gonna cry manzxc! Must start to cut down alr.. Hmph ): Anyway.. Plan for the day? Rot at home! Ohmy. Should i start on homework? Maybe.. see my mood ltr bah(: Wheeee. I'm hungry ._. Okay, shall go & cook ltr. HAHA! Pro right? LOL. & not maggie mee wor. Zai right? BHB, i know i know ;P Heee. Sianzxc now! FYI, i know sometimes my quotes etc etc very emo :/ But usually i put it cause it's nice. Not cause i'm sad or anything okay(: & my camwhore pics i'm gonna post soon will look like.. Very creepy. But i like camwhore like that lah hor(: Got photographic look! So cool! HAHA.Okay, sotdot me :/ Hmm.. till here bah. Really nothing to say okay :/ Entertain me somebody? Text me, call me, idk ._. I go eat liao, stomach growling ler ): So unglam! x.x HAHA. Okayokay, byeeeee.

离开 - 难道真的是解脱？

难道，真的要事过境迁了以后才懂？

倔强说不痛，假装什么伤都没有。

倔强抬起头，决不让眼泪往下流 ....

My fragile heart begins to flutter every single time I hear your voice.

2010-06-07T01:34:00.007+08:00

Hello loves :> So extremely happy & high now! Life has been giving me alot of problems, the spirit of intimidation is coming onto me now, when i'm growing the strongest spiritually! D: But nvrm, it's okay. Cause from today onwards, i'm no longer going to get intimidated by it! But yet, i will intimidate it back in the name of Jesus! Amen(: HAHA. Anyway, shall post fast fast today as Huiyu said i must sleep early & rest well if not eye bags come out jiu .. ): LOL! Okayokay. These two days in church have made a big leap for me religiously! WOOTS :> First, ytd I can finally speak in tongues! Today, I went forward to get prayed for during service & had the strongest encounter with God I've ever had in my 13years ++ of life! WOW.

Although the spirit of intimidation is speaking loudly recently at my ear, i'm freed of it as of today! Pastor Lia's preaching was powerful! Today was suppose to have followup but in the end nvr ._. Went damn high during service manzxc! High dao = = LOL. Anyway, been bonding alot with Zhisheng now-a-days(: & me & Felicia's problems all solved, (L). HAHA. Awesome friends yeah! Hee(: Rushed back to tamp with Zhisheng after service cause family had some probs :/ Caleb is back from cruise! LOL. Wheeeeeeee. Tmrw booked liao, we are chatting 8pm. HAH(: Okay, sianzxc die now! Otp-ing with Elena Laopo, till here for now. Okayokay, bye loveszxc. Click on my nuffnang! THANKS!

Promises are always broken,
Some things are best left unspoken.
The pain you feel inside seems like something died,
That everlasting piece of hope still remains but you gotta cope.

There is no spell you've cast upon my heart, it's only the memory that takes over every part.

2010-06-06T00:33:00.007+08:00

Hello readers :> Today was awesomzxc! Went so so high during service just now, especially main. So sad Theon wouldn't make it though! ): & you kumgong, better rest well okay! No basketball for one week :/ If not i smack you upside down, better take care alrights! LOL. Today bout 12pm like that, met Felicia for lunch at GreenApple, afterwards walked to inter & mrt-ed to PayaLebar. Went to SecSch service, Dominic's preaching was awesome! Though didn't really go high. After that, Popular-ed, Felicia ate at KFC then met Darryl. Jiu go to MainService. Okay, was majorly high! Wheeee. Pastor Lia's preaching was powerful. & at the end actually wanted to go & get prayed for but didn't :X But today will be an unforgettable day for me cause i can FINALLY speak in tongues~

So so so happy siah! Although i've not started followup, i felt like i've alr been baptised by the HolySpirit(: Amen! & oh, after service was awesomezxc too! Chatted with Ervins, he's a kumgong okay! :D Heh, awesome. Dinner & slacked with Felicia, Darryl & Zhisheng. Finally had a bit of those old memories which i miss! Lost over the months, so glad today found it back a little. Wheeeee(: & haha, got to know Zhisheng alot more today! Awesomzxc friend okay he(: LOL. & just now when we slacking under my block damn funny lor. HAHA(:But shhh, secret lah hor. Kinda weird weird der say out. Going to call Theon to chat ltr. Hope he's feeling better. & i miss my kumgong gugugaga face Gor, CalebNg siah! He's on cruise now & kinda weird siah :/

Never chat with him on the phone for the entire day. Usually everyday will talk der ._. Oh well, come back soon okay Gor! & i'm tireeeeeeeeeeeed! & i've followup with Adrie at 1pm tmrw(: Awesomzxc. Can't wait! & wow, i realised i'm still as vulnerable as ever. Still sensitive over things like that, letting go but yet impossibe to forget :x Walking somehow down memory lane ytd brought back memories. Miss it, but not him. He's such a disappointment ): Not who i thought he was. I just.. Hais, okay, forget it ._. Speechless. I know in my heart can liao. Oh well, hope he's happy with life(: Wish him luck. & no matter how horrible he is to me now, i can't forget his wonderfulness :/ Stupid? I know, idc(: Okay, till here for now! Otp-ing with Theon. Byeeeeeeeeeezxc.

得到你的人卻得不到你的心 ,

我愿意用我一生来换你的快乐一生 .

Grudges are a perfect waste of happiness, so love deeply & forgive quickly.

2010-06-04T20:42:00.004+08:00

Sometimes the most beautiful is not at the lights above,
but at the reflection below.

Hello precious stalkers ;> How was everyone's day? Mine was tiring, though totally worth it! (: Wheeeeee. Hee, high again. LOL. I keep on zi-high these few days, i have no idea why either ._. HEH. Think bringing back the true meaning of dance was the 3rd best thing that i've ever experienced this year! First was ofcourse, bringing God back into my life, & second was deciding I want to give it all to him, for him, & give him the best years of my life! Awesomzxc(: Anyway, today woke up at 10am, chiong like siao to inter. While waiting for bus met Ziwei! HAHA, been long since i met that young old man :D LOL. So yeah, chatted all the way till we boarded the bus & he alighted. After that, chatted with Weiyang all the way till dance studio.

Metup with Samantha & Wenshan. Went into dance studio, etc etc, dance started! (: Wheee. Okay, tio scolded quite seriously by Mr. Gerard, oops :x But yeah, overall worth it. His words brought me a major motivation to work harder, have to admit i did like, damn horrible. So sorry Mr. Gerard! I'll practice over the weekend & promise to be alot better on tues. & Ms. Jacky could tell i was not feeling confident, ohmy :/ Can't believe my fear coming true alr. i hate it when my problems affect my dance ): Don't care, better get it off my chest. Hee. & ohh, today was quite a deathful day despite the fun ): I had a damn high fever this morning can :/ Forehead was burning during dance, only subsided in the last half an hour? :/ Back again now though ): Okay, damn damn stupid idea to go to Cyril's chalet last night & drink so much & stay till 1am plus before cabbing home :/

Somemore today need to wakeup early der. In the end, actually.. Never really sleep leh. Cause i fall asleep at 4am like that, wakeup again then go back sleep. Hardly got any rest :/ HEH. Okay, shall get a good sleep tonight & pray hard that i'll be feeling hundred times better tmrw for church! Meeting Felicia, wheee. Glad that it's okay alr. HAHA. & ohh, many thanks to Blair for texting with me & for saving my life just now(: HAHA :> Thanks Yongjie for peih-ing me text ytd too! If it weren't for him, i die of dehydration alr! THANKS HOR! & ahah, you are fun to text with(: Must meet my ESTAACY boys one day play bkb & come my church hor you kumgong :D & talking bout my dearest ESTAACY boys, i miss them!

Miss the laughter & the innocence you guys brought to me! Best, true guy friends ever! :> & Thomas, Timothy & Johan, don't jealous(: You guys are alr at the brothers stage liao! HAHA. Meetup again soon for bonding okayy. Missyou guys tons! (: HAHA. I miss alot of people, woah. & in these few days to come i'm gonna be missing alot more cause many dearest people are going overseas! :/ Including that guy which my heart is flying after. Hope it won't bang into anything stalking him on his holiday :D HAHA. He still called me before he left so fine, lol. Anyway, till here for now! Nothing more. Shall post again tmrw, head is spinning alr, scared faint :/ LOL. Okayokay, bye deariehs! :P & click on my nuffnang if thr is before leaving okay? Please & thankyou! BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZXC.

The best thing you can do is the right thing,
The second best thing you can do is the wrong thing,
& the worst thing you can do.. is nothing.

Falling out of a perfect dream with the words you've said to her.

2010-06-03T16:48:00.007+08:00

Fake friends which i thought was true, & treated true smashed me up.

Hello loves :> Hee, ohmygosh. I just realised something luh. Which is actually quite stupid for me to realise after such a long time, wheeee. HAHA(: I've became a loner ever since i've left the brothers. Why? Seems to me like every friend i've counted on the most, betrays me & disappoints me. Let's not only say the brothers, others also & they know who they are lah(: But sorry okay, not the brothers fault i got screwed up over friends & became a loner. They just prove to me i really shouldn't be so mindful about friends alr. I've no worst friend, cause those that are actually worst, they are alr no longer my friend. But i only have one friend, who brought to me more hurt..

Then any other friendship, or even BGR i've ever been through. Though i kept it in silence. Now i'm done with it, done with trying(: True right? Why work so hard for smth the other person is not trying about? Oh well. But nvrm, i know us. If our friendship is true, it wouldn't break. Giving up on it all alr, & putting it in fate's hand(: & wow, i just realised Wedding Dress not only is an effing nice song to freestyle to, but also to cry too. Meaningful manzxc the lyrics! Kinda explains how i feel right now :x Heh. The Korean version is much more meaningful then the english one, nicer too(: HAHA. But no, trust me, i doubt i'm gonna go crazy over the singer! At most the songs, lol. & i'm alr crazy over the dance fyi, credits to Jarrold!

I think i'm gonna start rewatching BOF, i know it's like, damn old. But i feel like crying out, been long. I can't keep my emotions inside forever. Oh well. Staying at home to get a proper rest today. Dance again tmrw! (: Happy but i'm sure it'll be tiring. 11am-5pm. Meeting loves at 10:30am to recap abit etc etc. But it's dance, so worth it all! But first, in other to actually do well for the combined rehearsal tmrw & not screw it up like i did ytd is to well.. Rest, rehearse, & make sure my fever & headache goes down! HAHA(: okay, hungry now. Shall go & prepare dinner. Then maybe tonight going to Cyril's chalet? I'm tired, but i'll try to make it(: wheee. Okayokay, till here for now! Bye lovezxc, :D

Snappin out this misery, depression this aint me,
Cause I always turn around - 180 degrees.
But this time you got control of me & i cant explain.
Somebody call 911 Emergency, before I go insane.

In the midst of troubles, in the midst of pain, you'll know who is true.

2010-06-02T22:11:00.003+08:00

Hello loves :> Damn tired today manzxc, didn't sleep for the whole night ._. Don't ask why. HAHA(: & had dance from 10am-5:30pm today! I had consultation so was late for one hour but still, i'm tired ._. I'm not superwoman siah fyi. Didn't dance through but i'm tired luh, somem last night never sleep. Heng, tmrw's activities at night, so can sleep till late late. LOL. I'm tired! Sunday never sleep, Monday 3am then sleep, then ytd never sleep again. HAHA(: I think i tio insomnia. Hope not though, hmm. But although today was tiring, it was worth it(: Really. Fun siah! HAHA. I(L)dancemanzxc. After home, bathed etc etc. Went to meet Jeanette, Jackie, Deon, JunYong & Cyril for dinner, hais.

Mother still at hospital. Once again, outside food ): Sianzxc siah. Cause tamp eat till sianzxc, bus-ed to PasirRis for dinner. Had fun(: Damn funny, whole bunch of idiots. LOL, i missed Jeanette tons! So glad to meet her again.. it has been almost a year since we last met! Miss dancing with you at camp, miss the times we had heart-heart talks & cried through the phone etc etc. Thanks for being thr, i know you are true. &ofcourse, many thanks to those idiot boys who peih-ed me through dinner, making me laugh etc etc. Today was an awesomezxc day(: Whee. Although confronted Felicia bout some things & well, didn't go well. oh well. Can't be bothered so much alr.

I mean, some thing Caleb said was true. So yeah, will not get affected alr. & yeah, sorry my friends spam your blog. They won't alr, i think.. i hope. Oh well, next time they want to leave comments, i'll ask them to put their own name. But well, everything was true, so we just let it go okay? Anyway, friday got dance practice again! 11am-5pm, wheee. Prepare to die (: LOL, jkjk! Dancing won't kill me der lah, love it so much. LOL. Today, once again, was awesome! I(L)my outside friends, most awesome. Cause not in the circle, don't have much probs, LOL. & ofcourse, ESTAACYclique, Yasmin, Fion, Elena(: Okay, shall end it off here. Nothing better to post & i'm damn damn tired! Nights readers, byeeeeeeeeee.

I'm done with this, i'm done with you,
I'm done with everything.

The only way you can survive is to learn from mistakes and thrive.

2010-06-01T20:06:00.005+08:00

Hee, digged up old photos cause i've not been camwhoring recently! :/

Hello dear readers :> Whoo, back to post(: Mood has been quite good recently, especially today. HAHA(: found back some thing i've lost since the start of year. & all thanks to Jarrold, thanks senior! You are awesomezxc ttdc&ttm! Really. Thanks for the compliment beteeww(: & you dance damn nice okay, shuai dai le ;P HAHA. Anyway, yeap. Today had dance, it was fun.. Actually, pretty boring today :/ Mr. Gerard was like .. 1hr ++ late for dance, ohmygosh! HAAH :x After dance, stayed back to practice with friends, afterwards at canteen slack with Angeline & Samantha.

Till bout 4pm jiu bus-ed back to tamp. HAHA(: danced like nobody was watching at canteen to k-pop songs :P ( Although thr were like .. so many trackers at the other end of the canteen :x ) The beat is awesomezxc yeah. Wheeee! Been long since i danced like that, fun okayy. && damn funny lor. Cause actually suppose to go Caleb house with Theon today. Then when i just said going to Caleb house, Angeline was like, do what ah(: LOL! Sick minded girl. Then i added in, WITH THEON. Then i said very very loudly " & not threesome okay! " :/ then ohmygosh lah!

Got one teacher over thr. I kept laughing, so damn paiseh. Thank goodness the sec3 seniors left alr if not i'll be so embarrassed! :/ LOL. Anyway, after bus-ed back to tamp. Two big big rounds arnd tamp, then decided not to go to Caleb house alr cause need wait till 6:30pm = = & well, met Puffy aka Yasmin oh the bus! (: Bus-ed back to her house der busstop, then dinner-ed with her at S-11, she's awesome lor! (: love & miss her tons. One of my best listening ear, & everalsting bestieh! Calling her ltr at nine, wheeeee. HAHA, after dinner, chatted for a while more & homed.

Dance like siao just now, cause i'm damn high! All thanks to dance(: & Jarrold is one of the best seniors ever okayy! Happy? (: LOL. I tmrw got dance again :D but need skip first hour ! ): cause of stupid consultation. Like, wth okay. & 10am tmrw! CAN DIE ): I ytd otp with Caleb till 3am++ , then he tired ask him go sleep. Then 4am fell asleep, slept till 10am wakeup, chiong-ed to school for dance. Quite tired, & tmrw still got dance + consultation. Sad! ): Think meeting Caleb for lunch tmrw, but not sure if can or not now that got dance ._. Oh well, haha. That's all for now? Nothing more to post alr(: bye loves :>

The pain you feel inside seems like something died ,
that everlasting piece of hope still remains but you gotta cope.

我不需要和你在一起才能感受得到幸福，

2010-05-31T18:52:00.004+08:00

Heyya loves, just a majorly short post for now okay(: Wheee, i'm happy you know? Although i've a horrible horrible headache & a burning fever :/ & a total lack of sleep. HAHA(: Cause thr's that specific guy, who is just so awesome to me. Okay, fine, admit it :/ I still have a little feelings for him. But wait! A little bit only wor(: It's not like last time alr, now it's just like.. i've this weird weird feeling for him. no more tearing, no more sacrificing for him(: He also never make me cry ler wor, awesome guy okay! HAHA. He's sweet, know i today sick, want to sent me med & buy me dinner. Called me up frequently just to check if i'm okay, making sure i get enough rest, wanting me to sleep. Asking me to take care of myself in a desperate tone cause he knows he can't do anything ^ ^ So cuteeeeeeee.

& boy, i love your voice okay! Hee(: Thanks for singing to me, lol. That was nice of you, although kinda crazy. Wheeee. I know i'm not the one you love, & it's okay(: Cause you aren't the one i love either. But whether anot we have that bit of feeling for each, we both know okay(: This is a beautiful friendship. I feel like you really care, & i know you do. Who said i've to be with you to be happy, i'm actually very happy this way(: I've other guys, & you've other girls. But thr's just something bout you, makes you so different.. Cause i know you are different. HAHA(: Thanks for everything, hope it wouldn't end so soon okay! I'm still confused about how much you truely care, cause you've so many other girls going after you. It's hard to trust that you really do, but nvrm.. I'll be a little stupid & believe you hor(:

I love that sweet melody in your
voice when you say my name,

I'd rather live my life in pain then in numbness.

2010-05-31T12:07:00.005+08:00

Don't stay on safe land, fly up to the danger above.

Hello stalkers :> Life's been boring.. Tskk, & guess what? Sucks ttdc&ttm! I just realised ever since the drama in my school, i'm no longer the same. No longer slacking out till night with friends, no more alcohol, no more mixing with the wrong company. All i do is just stay at home, be guaikia. That's all, oh man! That's so damn boring, & so what if it's good. Come on people! We only got one life to live, you think you are very good or happy if you are like that everyday? Might as well just die now = = No life anyway right? I don't just want to exist in this world like all those bunch of people, i want to live my life! Don't want to waste it.

Life is actually just like the game. God is the player, but we are the control device. For the only thing more powerful than God's desires, are our decisions. & to be honest, what's the point of playing a game, if it isn't fun? I'm asking for you people to live a life, not be like an idiot & robot without a life. but no, i'm not asking you guys to do stupid things which you know you shouldn't do. As long as it is within your conscious, do it. But.. Do not sin(: & yes, i'm emotional. i'll admit. The environment i grew up in build me this way, so what? You aren't me, you don't understand how hard it is living like this, so keep those mouths zipped(: One more word & i think i'm gonna lose my patience!

& hey, at least i'm living a life i can feel. I'm not gonna change my way, but i do mean what i say. I'm gonna go & slack after school, but not too over. Focus more on studies, but not become machiam like one nerd. I'm gonna have BGR, i just won't fall to deep, & NOT gonna get even a bit distracted from God! (: & well, ofcourse, i'm gonna give God the best years of my life, & devote more time to church! :D Last two confirmed. Hee. Gonna fill my entire iPod with worshipping songs! Caleb says its so cool, wonder if he's being sarcastic ._. HAHA(: Anyway, you know that Caleb Ng Jun Ren right? Yes yes, him(: He's an awesome friend of mine okay!

Always thr, a true friend, i know it. Not like those other people. Wheeeeee. I've alot alot of awesome things to say bout him, but ultimately.. He's just my number1 dearest, most precious&beloved Gor! If only i had more friends like him(: He comforted me at my worse times, thankyou. Anyway, didn't sleep whole of last night. LOL :/ Ytd night tio kick out of house, went to stay with Jerome, on the car saw Caleb & his friend, Jiahao. LOL. Then car-ed to his house, usual thing, washed up, comp & prepared for bed. Didn't sleep whole night, stayed up chatting with Theon, then followed by Kimberlyn(: Thanks girl for everything! You too cheerup hor hor hor(: Then 5am like that, otp-ed with Caleb.

Asked him to go to sleep one hour ltr. He was not feeling well, get well soon bro(: Tried to sleep, failed. He called me after he had breakfast with friend etc etc, talked with him etc etc till he tired, then jiu ask him go & sleep(: HAHA. Afterwards, Johann sent me to inter, bus-ed to Timothy house to meet, chatted for a while, jiu bus-ed back home. Bathed again etc etc, & here i am(: wheeeee. LOL. Boring now, damn. Maybe i should go & get some sleep now. Have not slept for whole night alr, tmrw got dance. need energy! Plus, i want to lose weight ._. HAHA(: So sleep, jiu won't feel hungry ler lor. WOOTS! Okayokay, nights people. 我要去睡觉了( : Meaning i want to go & sleep alr, LOL! Click on my nuffnangs beeteeww, loveya` stalkers! Byezxceeeeeeeeee .

Don't take my kindness & friendship for
my weakness, nor for granted.

Hatred does not cease by hatred but only by love.

2010-05-30T22:23:00.003+08:00

Heyheyhey :> Back to actually posting. Yeah, i know the previous post was like, damn emo :/ Heh, but it is true okay! But i'm okay ler lah(: Well, not really but i'm gonna be. I mean, i just want to spill out my emotions. Well, nothing much recently. Except AsiaConference on Fri & Pastor Steve Munsey's preaching on Sat! :D Both was awesome & inspiring. pastor Steve Munsey really spoke to me okay! It felt like i had an encounter with God after his prayer! Amen(: After that wonderful & totally life-changing service.

Mrt-ed back to Tamp with Darryl, Theon & Felicia(: Promised Felicia i would peih her as she couldn't make it for the concert screening. Geraldine tagged along last min too. Dinner at kopitiam(: Then Geraldine left, the rest of us went to SunPlaza. HAHA(: This time even number, not scared liao. LOL. Walked two rounds, talked bout some stuff, had fun. Wheee(: LOL. Then go bkb court for 5mins, walked to my house downstairs. 7-11 & slacked. Felicia was sad ): I know why, but shhh, secret. Reached home, peih her talked when she on the taxi.

& pei-ed her text to make sure she is okay, feeling better babe? ): Don't think so much okay! Wo he Darryl will xin tong der. LOL(: Okay, then bathed etc etc. Comp-ed, otp-ed with Theon&Caleb. Then after Theon kup-ed the phone. Talked bout all my family problems with Caleb, cried over the phone :x So paiseh. Thanks Gor okay, really. Thanks for everything! Loveyou trillions too(: Hee! You are forever my dearest most beloved&precious Gor hor hor hor hor(: Anyway, post again tmrw or soon! Otp-ing with Theon now. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeee(:

The only way you can survive is to
learn from mistakes and thrive.

我已经不相信爱情了，难道我也不能相信朋友吗？

2010-05-30T13:03:00.005+08:00

Cause the people around me broke me, betrayed me, lied to me,
hurt me, cheated on me, crushed me, judged me, discriminated me,
& slowly.. killed me.

Hello loves :/ So sorry for not posting so regularly now. I know my blog is damn dead, but i've been losing the passion & mood for blogging alr.. Why? Cause my blog use to be a place i can always spill out my emotions, happy or sad. But guess what? Many people judge me cause of it, does it mean just cause my blog says i'm sad i really am? Nope, not at all. A blog is a place for me to type out my daily lives, but more importantly.. My feelings. But no, people want to judge, & say lots of crap based on my blog but not me. Sick&tired of it all you know? Why do i always try to adapt to other people?

I don't need those kinda judgemental people in my life you know? So just go away, really. Life just sucks right now. I'll be honest. Why do friends always let me down? One by one, all fade away. Seems to me no friend is true. Hate it, seriously ttdc&ttm. I've lost all trust & faith in love, i do not want friendship too. My friends were always my biggest motivation.. Pushing me forward, reaching a sense of happiness i've not felt since SecondarySchool. & you know what? I miss primary school, i miss my dearest ESTAACY clique, i miss my dearest FionGirlf, & i miss all the other memories & friends i've had in primary school.

& i know they've never left me, & hopefully.. They never will. But the fact that we are no longer in the same school cannot be changed. No matter what, we will drift. & i hate it .. Why is it so hard to find true friends? & why is it that when you do, it seems like it never lasts? I've been hurt so badly before i'm afraid to trust anyone except for God&I . It seems no friend is ever true , & there's no such thing as a friendship which can last forever .. I've been counting so much on my friends & they've all let me down .. Is that the reason why now .. I find it so hard to believe in friendships anymore ?

The friends i've sacrificed so much for, & the ones whom i've forgiven time & time over & over again for their betrayal .. seems like they don'tknow how to appreciate it. They still think that their new friends are better.This is crap, i don't know what to do anymore. I've family problems & it's killing me inside out, BGR is something i can no longer feel for, & friendship seems to be something i can't trust anymore.. Yes, dance is thr. But would it listen to you always? Nope. & ofcourse, i've my most wonderful God, but .. that doesn't mean i don't need relationships too right? Hais. What can i do, other than shed tears now, & put a fake smile on my face & carry on with this life i feel that is dying out on me?

The only time i feel that i'm happy is when i'm at service, when i close my eyes & i feel like thr's only me&God. For i know, He is the one i can forever trust, & will never leave. I lock my heart up cause i'm afraid of getting hurt by those i treasure the most.. & i fake a smile to pretend like i'm okay but no one, no one ever bothered to care enough to look close enough, to realised how fake that smile was. I'm losing myself, & now no matter how hard i try to look back, i can't seem to remember who i really was.. & now, i'm a girl who can't have any happiness. For all my heart feels is pain, & no longer love. & i know i can't hold on any longer, cause.. love is the greatest motivation in life, without it.. life is meaningless.

The most terrible poverty is loneliness,
& the feeling of being unloved.
But don't worry, the next time you see me,
i'll still be laughing, faking another smile,
holding on strong, & pretending everything's okay..

从开始我就跟你说了，玩不起，就不要玩。

2010-05-27T20:55:00.004+08:00

A goodbye Isn't painful unless you're never  going to say hello again.

Hello loves :> So sorry for not posting for such a frigging & ridiculously long time! :/ Not comparable to the other major dead blogs but still, my readers are diving down ): SAD OKAY! So here i am, back to post(: Alot of things has been happening recently, really ): Got good got bad. Bad is that all the things that happened is very sad or hurtful ): Hais! Good thing? I'm still happy now (though possibly i don't sound like it), & that i finally can feel that i'm actually living my life & not just exsiting! (: HEE. Ohh, firstly, i'm single alr :/ Hais, yeah, i broke with Perry.. Want to know why, ask me personally okay? Well, i'm okay luh(: I just hope he is too. Sorry boy, but i told you right from the start. Now it's game over, & as much as it hurts me to say..

I don't want any more restarts. Well.. Hais. Tuesday sucked ttdc&ttm! Wednesday was okay & today sucked too ): Hais. I hate school you know, people just sucks so much. I MISS SARATAN ): That girl! Hais, flying off to Japan & leaving me here. Hais ): Can cry okay! Babe, missyou tons! Come back soon love :> I'll be honest, i don't like my class :/ & don't need to deny, i know i'm not the only one who feels this way. We have so many step bengs & lians. See alr also dulan = = If not step bengs&lians, we have bitches, backstabbers, gossipers, pangsehkias, etc etc. I think other than Sara, no one else to be close with D: I mean, yeah, some are good friends but i just can't fit in with them. Too nice&guai alr ._. HEH. Sua bah(:

I've HOGC, DL5 people who are awesome! WOOTS(: Tmrw AsiaConference, once in a lifetime changing experience! Die die also must wake up :/ LOL. Anyway, have been otp-ing with Caleb Ng, my most precious & beloved GanGor (learn from you der!). He's awesome okay(: a true friend, who honestly cares. Thanks Gor for cheering me up ytd! So so sorry for being so sad ): I'M SMILING NOW :D Happy? HAHA! & many thanks to Huiqi, Adriena & Danette for the care & concern! & thanks for cheering me up & listening to me my dear AngKuKueh(: loveyou trillions too! Have been refraining from using vulgarities recently. & it's working(: HEE! So proud of myself. LOL!

Tuesday's ECP thingy sucked ): worse still, tired like hell still need go for dance :/ But worth it(: cause i went for audition for MegaConcert & got in! Performing at Esplanade! Effing cool(: WOOTS. Can't wait! LOL. Can't believe i got in for jazz(: so heng. But still, i must brush up alot yeahh. HAHA(: & i know this is random, but my dear GanGor, cheerup&relax okay ): hate seeing you sad or whatever. Take a deap breath & i wish you the best of luck! HAIS. Currently chatting on msn with Elena(: miss that siaozharbor laopo of mine okayy! Like, majorly. Hehe :/ I know she misses me too(: no need to deny! LOL. Fallen in love with the song Break Your Heart by Taio Cruz ._.

Stupid kumgong gugugaga face Caleb keep suan me when i first heard it with him :/ HAHA(: he say describe me siah! Abit only lor, whr got bad till like that :/ HAHA. I'm so glad holidays are here! (: Finally away from that hell i'm forced to go everyday, sucks. I only want to go with SaraTan(: HEE! Thr are dance practices during the holiday, awesome(: & i'm performing for YOG too! HAHA ;P Awesome okayy! Tmrw need to wake up at arnd 5:30am, sianzxc! But i'll do it no matter what(: Got back report book, sianzxc. Okayokay lor, won't die i guess. Still acceptable(: LOL. Okayokay, shall post again soon next time! (: Think Sat or Sun okay? I'm otp-ing with my dear ELENALIM now! Wheeee! Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee . CLICK ON MY NUFFNANG !

Baby, you know I love you, I really do, but I can't fight anymore for you & I don't know, maybe we'll be together again. Sometime, in another life.. Honestly, I wished that I could save you from the hurt. I'm sorry but I can't be your world. & the way you're holding on to me, makes me feel like I can't breathe. Just let me go.. It just won't feel right inside, God knows I've tried. Before i loved and left you , i told you " If you fall for me , I'm not easy to please. I'm gonna tear you apart. I'm only gonna break your heart." told you from the start, baby from the start. So just leave me alone, get out of my face. I'm tired of love. Feeling so misplaced, time for you to go. 'Cause I know I'm better off on my own, this isn't gonna work. Don't call me on the phone, because I'm all out of words.. there was the time I thought you were the one, having some fun, getting it done. What an illusion, 'cause you were trying to take control of me.. That couldn't be, I need to be free of this confusion.. Don't give me a guilt trip, because I'm so over it. The pain you've caused is killing me inside out & i know i gotta run before i can't take it no more. I'm sorry, thanks for the memories. But i guess.. the future just has no more "us". There's gonna be, & thr's gonna be me, but together is some thing we don't belong.

& now, it's all done -
Game over, & no more restarts.

I abhor people with no sense of originality.

2010-05-24T20:12:00.006+08:00

Hello deariehs :/ sorry blog has been quite dead recently okay, i've not really been in the mood. Nor do i really have the energy recently. Mood is cause of a friend, whom i guess can never see the things i've done for her. Still pangsehkia like she used to, at least she stopped backstabbing me, so sua. She doesn't treat me as a good friend, i need not do so either(: Normal normal can liao. & i've been damn tired recently, cause i said i've insomnia for the past few weeks right? It's alot better now, but still.. Hais :/ Anyway, ytd otp-ed with baby & ElenaLaopo(: HAHA.

The two of them are cute eyh, keep on suan each other. Hoho, kept taking side with Laopo :/ sorry bi D: HAHA. Anyway, he's an awesome boyfriend okay! Hee, loveyou(: But yeah, keeping my word. No matter what, not getting distracted from God! God is still my number one, & one&only! (: Anyway, tonight gonna practice my dance steps for tmrw's audition for MegaConcert. Now otp-ing with Laopo & msn-ing with baby & AngKuKueh - My dearest Huiqi! & talking with her otp later! (: had a awfully terrible headache this afternoon, alot better but still hurts D: anyw, shall post again some other day. Bye loves :>

I don't believe in 'forever's,
I only believe in happiness in a relationship.

No matter what the circumstances are, don't lose faith.

2010-05-23T22:40:00.000+08:00

Hello babyehs :> Been long since i last posted, so darn sorry alrights! Didn't really had the time to blog as recently i've been talking on the phone non-stop with all my dearest friends! Anyway, nothing much anyway recently. Friday was awesome! (: Hee, dance resumed! Awesome okay! Even though i had to skip RedRain, but i guess it was worth it bah(: At dance i've all my awesome seniors & friends so.. Hmm, yeap! Afterwards chiong to HOGC for Felicia's birthday, erm, nothing much bah. Over thr for a while jiu mrt-ed home alr :/ Then at night as usual, otp-ed with PerryNg Bengbeng & CalebNg my dearest GanGor! Awesomezxc(: Ohh Ohh, Theon too!

(L)you 3 awesome guys okay! Cannot forget Kowit too! & well, talked with Darryl on friday night when we were otw to Sunplaza park & thr, he's a nice guy(: Not so cold after you get to know him. HAHA :D & Saturday was awesome, had RedRain! Wasn't high at first cause someone spoiled my mood.. But hais, forget it. In the end was damn damn high! (: But after concert, mood spoiled again. Kinda ruined RedRain for me but oh well.. Sua. Forget it bah. & ytd night, had a totally awesome time talking with PerryNg Bengbeng & Caleb! Woots(: Jealous? I know you are. Haha, jkjk.

PerryNg Bengbeng was majorly sweet ytd okay, mouth like dipped in honey hor hor hor :P But boy, what happened to you today? Talk on phone like sianzxc sianzxc one, i hated it. I was about to accept, but this morning changed it all. I've no idea what to do now :/ Either way, i won't get distracted from God. Oh well, hais. 20more mins before 11pm, the time when i've to make my decision.. Hope when we talk, you can be like ytd bah. Anyway, it was awesome having you as a friend(: So even if my answer is a no, we can still be friends right? Hope so bah(: Bye friends, otp with FionGirlf now! LOVE HER TONS OKAYY! Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I felt as though i was in love,
but then the next second you
washed it all away.

The things I want the most, the things my dreams are made of.

2010-05-20T19:22:00.003+08:00

Hello loves :> Short post for now okay? Otp-ing with PerryNg Bengbeng! (: Today got back rest of the exam papers, sucked okay. Results like shit, glad i passed all though! (: Today was average uh, after school had late lunch/early dinner with Geraldine, Nicole & Danette. Anyway, had tons of fun, thanks yeha! Shall end my post here, damn short, i know. But busy, sorraye! ): byeeeeeeeeee .

多情的人注定伤的比较深，愛一个人，別太认真。

2010-05-19T20:28:00.007+08:00

Hello my precious stalkers :> Hee, today has been an average day. Nothing much bah :/ Yesterday night otp-ed with Theon, then Caleb joined call. After he kup, continued talking with Theon for 1hour++, then that idiot say he tired = = Want go sleep. LOL, so talked with Perry. Hee! Thanks tons okay boy. You are such an awesome friend luh(: Bonded so much with you last night. Haha! PerryNg BENGBENG ♥ ! Thanks for peih-ing me text&talk till late at night ytd & this morning - evening! & i'm not lianlian okay, anyhow der you :x HAHA.

Anyway, this morning actually wanted to skip school.. In the end, didn't. Didn't get to talk with Fion on the phone ytd cause she was damn tired ): Hais.. Nvrm, will happen one day der. Anyway, so woke up at 7:30am, chiong chiong chiong, then go school. Reached school, talked with Sara, awesome friend(: Then the morning thingy thingy start liao luh. Afterwards, literature. Stupid okay, i had to sit at the pavilion alone doing essay cause i didn't do the essay assignment cause i was absent = = I sit like one kumgong, then just anyhow chiong cause i want to go back class get my results!

Hmm, results were quite good(: Heng. LOL, A2. But my class is the lowest for literature among all the express classes. Diao = = Then teacher over thr say. Hais. After that, geog. Texted for the whole lesson with Benedict&Perry & the rest of day too. MYE result was like shit, but just glad a pass bah. C5, haiyo. Not the lowest for sec1! Awesome(: LOL. Then recess, hee. Spent it as usual with SaraTan(: We are kinda getting closer, awesome! Haha. Then afterwards, chinese. Ohmygoash, results were horrible. That PengTianXin did very well lor, haiyo. Smartass uh(:

I think i got B4 bah ._. After mothertongue, i thought English! So happy, wanted to know results. In the end, D&T. I failed = = Cause teacher cannot find my assignments which i passed up? Wth. Pissed leh, i spent my time&effort making it & then i got 0 cause the paper don't know fly to whr. Wkao. Forget it, teacher better find my paper. I then don't want to fail D&T. Anyway, after that jiu bus-ed home, suppose to meet Elena, didn't, cancelled. Then jiu 2rounds arnd Tamp then homed(: Bathed etc etc, otp-ed with Perry that AhBeng(: LOL. Then i jiu cook dinner, & freak. Overcooked it, so dump it away then go buy take-away. Haha(:

Then eat&otp at same time. Talked for 2hours++ liao, i damn tired cause slept quite late last night. Then jiu kup phone with Bengbeng, go & sleep. Sleep for 10mins or so, Caleb accidentally send wrong msg to my house phone. Wokeup, listened to the message, called him, talk for a while. Hais, got things happen again. Hope it is not what it seems, i don't want the person to be pangseh kia okay, pangseh-ing old friends for new ones. & somemore, that clique = = If it is true, disappointed. Hais, anyway, that's all for today! Thankyou PERRY NG BENG BENG ♥ for the day! Anyway, shall post till here. Otp-ing with Geraldine now. Byeeeeeeeeeloves :> Last but not least, CLICK ON MY NUFFNANG PLEASE&THANKYOU!

My heart sure knew how to blind me,
and my emotions were so unkindly.
But now when I say it is over, it really is.

Walking down memory lane, everything seems so plain.

2010-05-18T18:55:00.008+08:00

Look at those two chiobus(: Pictures were taken during the Dress-Up Game ;P

Hello my dear faithful stalkers :> I'm in a prettaye good mood now, so school was very very boring&sianzxc = = But afterwards was awesome! Whee. Ytd slept at 3am++, lol. I'm still having problems sleeping, could anyone suggest anything? ._. ofcourse, something that might actually work. Haha. Yesterday night didn't turned out as planned, still totally awesome though! In the end, ended up talking to Theon&Danette! (: Ohmygosh manzxc, been so long since i last chatted with him. & first time talking with Danette was awesome! Really made my day, thanks! Oh, &..

Theon, cheerup&be happy okay! I was so sad when i heard you fake a smile der siah ): Don't ever fake a smile again, if you are happy - smile, if you are sad - just cry or pout. Cause faking a smile is so much more painful, hate to see you sad my dear friend ): & don't ever forget, i'm forever willing to be your listening ear(: Hmm, anyway, many thanks to Danette! Thanks for sharing your past, & all those words you've said. Glad to know i've true friends in this world, I had such a good time talking to you! Thanks for offering your listening ears(: take care! See you on thursday for lunch. God bless!

Anyway, after talking with them for about 4hours added together, i went to sleep. Took bout 1hour so was very very tired this morning ._. I didn't want to go school but mother insisted so.. Hais ): Was so so so effing tired! & to make things worse, the day in school wasn't good. ECP trip was postponed due to bad weather, & the games though thanks to PSL for trying to arrange it, played it before so many times alr! Will sianzxc der leh ): & somemore during PhotoHunt the sun was scorching, wlao. How could i possibly be in good mood siah? = = But after school = AWESOME !

Bus-ed back to tamp, Bus10 came fast, thank gosh. And after reached tamp, took one big round around tamp then went back to inter to meet Geraldine for lunch at mac(: Haha. After that, went to top up card, go T1 followed by TM. Hee, had quite alot of fun(: bought this big big clip luh, damn awesome. Hee(: Then after that, 1big round around tamp before Geraldine alighted ._. She keep "bullying" me on the bus, tskk! Lol(: Then i was laughing like one crazy auntie luh. She ah.. Chorlor zharbor, haiyo. Afterwards continued rest of ride in peace, listening to music(: Then homed.

Bathing half way, Kowit text me ask me to have dinner together(: So okayokay, bathe finish, change clothes etc etc, chiong to S11 to meet him for dinnner. Quick dinner, bubbletea, walked home, slacked downstairs then upstairs for about half an hour before he went home. Thanks for sending me home okay(: Hee! So long never see him liao? Glad to see him today. So yeah, school life is boring & i don't really like it. But my outside friends/life rocks! So hmm.. Doesn't really matter yeah? I hate pangseh kias & stuff, so sheesh, just lone in school luh. Rather trust no one then wrong one(:

Not being saddist hor ._. I mean, really right? I not so stupid to trust wrong person, then tio backstabbed & etc. Not gonna count on any friends except for church friends for now! Not until i find a true friend who won't pangseh = = Hais, i know it is hard. But at least i've HOGC people right(: & they rock, are true friends, fun to be with & won't pangseh or backstab! Wow, awesome manzxc. Talking bout church, so sad that i can't make it for the Churchwide Prayer Meeting today! ): & OHMYGOSH! RedRain is only.. 3moredays away! Felicia's birthday also luh ._. But sad okay ):

I want to cry liao, can't make it for that day due to dance CCA! As much as i love dance ttdc&ttm, i wish it will be cancelled! ): I want to go to RedRain with Theon, Geraldine&Felicia! WLAO ): Dear Mr. Gerard, please have smth on that day. Sorry to other TMS Freestylers okay1 ): Okay.. Doubt that would come true anyway, but must be polite :/ && awe ): I miss Roy! As a friend luh(: It has been so so long since we last talked okay. Saw him many times today but cause he's not my class PSL, didn't really get to talk. Sad sad, chat again once school reopen after JuneHolidays hor! (:

He's an awesome friend, always making me laugh. Thanks Benedict too beeteeww! He's awesome too yeah(: Suddenly texted me & asked me to text with him during the WetWeather thingy ._. Made my day so less boring luh! He's fun to text too okay(: && yesyes, we shall play basketbal together one day! JuneHolidays okay(: I want see you! LOL. Talking on phone with Fion, my dearest grilfriend tonight(: YAY! Can't wait. Haha, miss her tons. Sad she can't make it for RedRain! ): Anyway, till here for now! Shall go & do some other things. LOL, byebye deariehs! Beeteeww, CLICK ON MY NUFFNANG PLEASE&THANKYOU !

& now nothing remains, even the long lasting pain.
My mistake was making you my aim.
I could not stop myself from being the player of your game.
But it's all over now, so goodbye to you .

Happy birthday !

2010-05-17T21:01:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

EUGENECHANJUNHONG !

My dear boy, missed you tons eyh. Seen you few time after graduated but never really got the chance to have an actual conversation. So.. here i am, writing you a post for your birthday yeah. Awesome me right? BHB, i know i know(: haha. But we all know it's true! Anyway, how's life? Hope God is blessing you through it & things are going well with friends, family, studies & whatever other problems you have(: Got new girlfriend mah? Got must tell me hor, make me feel jealous abit :P HAHA! Thanks for the memories okay boy.

You are one of those i'll never forget, hee. First boyfriend i took seriously, feel hounoured! Though it was in the past, i still cherish the memories, & you as a friend, thanks ♥ ! I've changed quite alot, what about you? Or are you still as childish as last time huh huh huh? I think so bah(: hee, jkjk dearieh! Miss you tons yeah, meetup soon. Don't go up secondary school forget me liao hor, don't you dare pangseh or else i will smack you upside down :P Once again, happy birthday boy. 13years old liao, be more mature hor hor hor! (L)you ttdc&ttm my dear friend !

p/s: No people, i do not love him. Only as a friend ! (:

当我跟你说再见时，我就不会在回头了

2010-05-17T17:30:00.011+08:00

hello loves :> firstly, tag me to be linked/relinked! lost all my links. & i'm so very very bored now. became guaikia liao, after sch jiu go back home ler(: okay luh, boring, but then it is better then hanging outside with nothing to do bah :/ anyway, so so sorry have not been really posting. busy mah :/ haha. okay, so, Saturday was awesome! metup with Geraldine at about 1pm or so, then jiu mrt-ed to PayaLebar to meet Danette for secondaryschoolservice@HOGC! it was awesome, as usual. learnt about expanding our tents etc etc, Amen!

afterwards, lunch/dinner at Long John Silver with the girls of DL5, awesome! hee, then Felicia came to meet us. then had a little bit of problems but all resolved now. hah, i will pray for him. God will forgive of his sins as long as he is willing to repent, just hoping that he will(: but hais, seriously okay, if you want to call yourself a Christian, behave like one first. do not disgrace the name of God & JesusChrist! anyway, after we eat finish, headed back to church for main service! awesome, totally! PastorLia's preaching was really motivating.

wished my mother was thr ._. don't ask why! hahaha :P decided to really work towards my dream of dancing, that is the thing that makes me come alive! so it really doesn't matter what people say. haha(: afterwards, me, Geraldine&Felicia went off to have dinner on our own first so that we can talk bout some private stuff :/ hee. afterwards, metup with Adreina'll for a while & mrt-ed to tamp with Felicia&Geraldine. camwhored on the train, okay, we were effing noisy ._. haha, then afterwards, Felicia bus-ed back home followed by Geraldine.

reached home, bathed, etc etc, then jiu comp, otp with Geraldine, then sweet dreams(: awesome. next day was boring ): in the morning tio nagged awake by my mother. went to hospital to see my great grandfather, ohmygosh okay.. i see him lie thr i was overwhelmed with guilt. don't feel like talking bout it.. but i just want to tell all of you to appreciate whoever you have in your life now, even if they are irritating or whatever. cause one day.. when some things happen, you'll regret. & by that time, it's too late. so cherish everyone, cause every single person makes up your life.

treasure them(: i'll pray for my greatgrandfather to get better. anyone if free, just call me up okay? i need to talk on phone with someone ): anyway.. after that, went to cousin's house for the usual monthly dinner thing. boring&major sianzxc-ness as usual, otp-ed with teng&Caleb for a while, then jiu homed. at night, talk-ed on phone with my dearest girlfy! FionLim(: i miss that girl okay! been so long, promised to meetup asap. talking with her agian tonight. after she went to sleep, otp-ed with Geraldine till night, then we both went to dreamland. life's boring, but good. i'm truly happy now!

i've changed, so please stop mentioning how i was in the past(": please&thankyou! today was sianzxc, though awesome somewhat. had some PostExamActivities thingy, no idea what was that :/ appeared to be some thing like what we did during secondaryone orientation ._. was boring luh the games.. but hee, my group members are funny okay! we were like whole bunch of idiots, kept me laughing. had many awesome friends peih-ing me text after recess. many many thanks to all of you hor hor hor! appreciate it. bonded tons with VenessaHan & Janice! awesome(:

invited them for RedRain ( which i TOATALLY can't wait! ). after that, bus-ed back to Tamp with Gaby & then 293 - 2 big rounds around Tamp then homed. it rocks having quiet time to yourself. tmrw going to ECP, i've no idea for what but heh .. just go lor(: bo bian. now tired, gonna maybe take a nap or smth soon? then otp with Fion&Geraldine again tonight! can't wait! GIRLFY ): WO HAO XIANG NI AH! (: idc if i sound lesbo, that's called sisterly-friendship love. haha. she's the one i can really talk to & connect with. loveher. miss the memories, DuckyLim♥DuckyMak!

our two secret, shhh :P & ohhohh, i've gotten over that person ler. never really had the motivation till last night. so goodbye okay(: thanks for the memories & for the best yet worse days. you know iloveyou, i really do. but I can't fight anymore for you, so it's time i've let go ... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 & poof ! (: boy , i'm 101% over you! haah(: God's love reigns over all. though i gotta admit.. without BGR, life is kinda.. boring now. at this age luh, cause no work or anything mah :/ but no matter what, not gonna get distracted from God liao. no more BGR till the right one comes.

the one whom loves me more than i love him, the one who loves God as much as i do, & the one who makes me feel so special, cause he chose me over all the others(: the one who will never lie to me, the one who trust me, the one.. whom protects me, the most imperfect guy, whom to me is gonna be perfect. & to that imperfect guy, i am perfect(: hee. i know, fairytale little girl land. so what? i'm happy right! and who says i can't be immature, huh huh huh? i'm only 13 leh(: long way to go. & people, seriously, keep your blabber shut about "me being too young for BGR".

that's crap = = just because you are young you don't deserve love? bullshit hor. it's just that we shouldn't take it as our ALL at this age, not NOT have it. get your facts right honeys. hmm(: okayokay, till here for now. beeteeww, what does everyone think of the new skin? simplicity is the best mah. hor? anyway, give some comments at tagboard, thanks! but hor, i don't need any negative comments yeah. thanks ;P majorly bored now. shall look for entertainments bah, any suggestions? hahahaha, okayokay. byeeeeeeeee babeyhs. fullstop.

Live life like there's no tomorrow ♥
Cause one of these days you are gonna be right.

Thanks for the tags ♥

2010-05-17T17:28:00.002+08:00

Reply to tags :

Felicia says : todayz ish awesomeeee.
Reply : Yeap, totally(:

Felicia says : SORRY D: YING WEI WO MEN BU CLOSE LE MAH. DON'T WORRY I STILL LOVE YOU VERY MUCHHHH. ^^v ♥
Reply : Ying wei ni bu gen wo jian hua liao mah ._. you ni de na ge mao mao clique he Darryl bu yao wo le. i cry hor i tell you ._.

Felicia says: ♥ HELLO SEE YOU LATER
Reply : Okayokay(: ♥ .

VIVIEN^^ : Taqqed Babe! TakeLottsOfCare. (:
Reply : Thanks babe, you take care too alrights! (L).

Passerby : hw u make the pictures lyke side by side? anw, tag.
Reply : Erm.. firstly, put your own name instead of passerby yeah. Thanks for the tag. & hmm.. when you upload the picture, put the layout as left instead of center? ( i think )

passerby : (:
Reply : Please put you own name & (: back.

SylviaL : Taggies Jie(: See you later(:
Reply : Alrights, seeyou(: thanks for tag.

Yunxuan : HELLOS EUNICEEEEE:D See you sooon! ^^
Reply : HELLO ! :D Hee, see you soon too!

T : HELLO TAG HAHA
Reply : Hello, thanks for tag!

Flavia : Tags Jie ♥
Reply : Thanks meih ♥ loveyou & missyou !

DONE!

day by day , my faith will grow (:

2010-05-15T21:57:00.006+08:00

I'd rather be hurt by the truth than be protected by a lie.

hey loves :> just a short short post for today as i'm otp with Geraldine now . today was an awesome day at HOGC , shall post bout my day some other day yeah . tmrw going out for i think whole day = = sianzxc ! && hee , awesome(: my love & faith for God is growing deeper & deeper each day . beeteeww , the picture&quote's credits goes to Cynthia (: byeeeeeee .

What other love do I need when I have God's ?

2010-05-14T21:25:00.013+08:00

Aloha readers ! :D HAHAHAHAHA . i'm super duper majorly awesomely high now ! ohmygosh okay ! HOGC people are so so so frigging awesome ! many loves & hearts for them okay (: today was an awesome day ! many many misunderstandings etc etc have been cleared , today cleared 3misunderstandings ler , awesome hor hor hor ? (: HAHA . okay , i'm still majorly high ! lol ! (: hmm .. let's see yeah . today , in the morning , rushed to meet Danette at mrt , made her wait , so sorry ! ): then mrt-ed to PayaLebar , met Adriena at LongJohnSilver , eat till half way , Huiqi , Huiyu & their friends came too (:

all cramped at one small table , lol , so cool yeah . feel the love ~ hahahah (: then afterwards , went to HOGC for movie screening , metup with Felicia&Geraldine . then we go & introduce ourselves to everyone , met so many more awesome people ! hee , met another dancer , Rachel ! awesome (: sorry if spell name wrongly kayy . haha . then after intro intro , watched PassionOfChrist . ohmy luh . Huiqi was so cute okay(: keep covering her eyes , haa . & me&Felicia kept on crying okay ! the movie was so sad & touching luh . i mean .. seeing how Jesus was tortured , & seeing how He laid down His life for us , for our sins , how can i help but to pain & shed tears for Him ?

He gave up his life for us , He shed so many blood for us , what are the tears that we shed compared to ? Jesus is our greatest friend okay , who else would lay down His life like that for us ? He was not only crucified okay , he was tortured like hell before he was crucified , His love for us is so great . & so is God's , He sent his one&only begotten son to this earth to die for OUR sins okay , how great is His love ? BGR etc etc now longer mean that much to me anymore , you know why ? cause what else matters when i know God loves me ? i use to feel insecured , weak , judged etc etc , but now God has really came into my life , i no longer felt like that .

i feel secured , i feel loved , it no longer matter what people looked at me , cause no matter how imperfect i am , God loves me & see me like i'm His princess . today changed me alot , even more than it alr did . i'm becoming more & more devoted alr (: it's awesome ! then after CG ( which was totally awesome okay ! i cried during prayer :/ thanks Adriena ! ) , had some bonding time with the girls . chatted tons with alot alot of people (: then played bkb with Felicia , Geraldine & those guys whom i do not know . then very funny okay , my pants was so frigging loose , i take few steps pull up pants once = = machiam like one idiot , lol .

then went off for dinner at KFC with Geraldine&Felicia (: bonded more during that time . i couldn't finish the KFC , was effing full . not much appetite , no idea why ._. then afterwards , went off , at outside KFC thr talk talk talk , sing sing sing the song "ThankYou" . awesome song okay ! ;D haaa , then we say tmrw they come my house then we sing sing worship songs , then maybe film down(: can't wait ! after slack thr for half an hour or so , mrt-ed back to tamp . walked to library for toilet , bought bubble tea then Felicia bus-ed home then me&Geraldine walked to busstop , then her bus come i went off liao(: awesome day today okay ! love you all tons ! *inserts many hearts&loves*

can't wait for tmrw & next weeek also luh ! (: tmrw Felicia&Geraldine coming my house at 11am for worshipping etc etc , then we go GreenApple for lunch then to church for secschool service & main service ! can't wait okay ! then next week is REDRAIN alr ! :D can't wait once again ! then next Sunday got some mass worshipping thing at forgot what stadium , awesomeee ! (: hee , next week is gonna be awesome awesome awesome ! i hope dance is resuming next week to make things even more & more awesome bah ! i'm still high ._. okayokay , till here for now bah(: i gtg , otp-ing with Geraldine liao ! bye loves :> click on my nuffnang please&thankyou ! (L)you HOGC peeps ! ♥

Always i will sing your praise .

Reply to tags :
joey : Eunice jieh relink
Reply : Orh ._.

joey : http://lovinqq-heartz.blogspot.com/
Reply : Relink-ed .

SylviaL : Taggies Eunice. ILY manymany. hahas. Eh, my blog link I sunday then give eu.
Reply : Suresure(: see you this Sunday .

Felicia says : HELLO ♥
Reply : HELLO ! ♥

Do you know happiness is the key to life ?

2010-05-14T11:47:00.007+08:00

heyheyhey readers :> about 1more hour left before leaving house & going out to meet Danette & Adriena for lunch followed by HOGC for movie screening ! awesome , can't wait (: hee , & up till now .. i still don't know what to wear ._. feel like wearing 3-quarters but my 3-quarter pants all damn ulgy leh ): tskk , haha . vain right ? i know , but i'm a female , somewhat , it is normal ! ;P i don't want to wear too casual , also don't want too formal :/ quite hard uh .. hais , nvrm nvrm . later go & try digging again .

short post for now , shall post about later's event some other time ! hmm , ytd a misunderstanding between me&Afflin&Angeline was somewhat cleared(: awesome . hahah . & hmm , i just want my other readers to know too , my blog is actually a place where i dish out my emotions , so it may seem quite emo but i'm not okay(: & the reason why i don't want to private is cause of Nuffnang ._. & for some reason , i like readers . weird me , i know (: haha . anyway , Felicia's coming my house later before meeting Danette&Adriena (:

haha . ohh , so sorry to my readers recently . have been posting bout backstabbing etc etc , well .. it is true . & i want to vent it out , so next time don't read the one highlighted in light blue okay (: cause it will be bout betrayal etc etc , sad ): but nvrm , i'll cheerup (: i'm planning to find a goal for myself to do luh , life is getting boring without entertainment ! haha (: RedRain , coming in 7more days ! WOOTS ! :D okayokay , till here for now . shall go & find whatever clothes i want to wear . byeeeeeeeeeeee !

sometimes it is best to just smile & walk away (:

the more you change , the more we drift ):

2010-05-14T11:47:00.003+08:00

Reply to tags :
Felicia says: HELLO
Reply : Hello .

Felicia says: :d.
Reply : Huh ._.

T: LOL 'bog shop' anyway YES OUTINGGGGG ):
Reply : HAHA ! yeah , bogshop (: hee . YES YES YES ! OUTING SOON ! i miss you all ): you go arrange one asap hor . i lazy :/

Felicia says: LOL. psps. xD.
Reply : LOL , paiseh for .. ? = =

Girl , what's the point of having so many friends when none of them is true ? you use to say you'd rather have one true friend like me , then to stick with that backstabbing clique . rather have one true friend then so many untrue ones . recent activities are telling me otherwise . you are changing back , sad ): i miss the old yet recent you , what happened ? if i did anything that disappointed you , tell me alrights . i'll explain to you , i'll tell you what's the truth . i think i know there's some misunderstanding between us , reason why your opinion of me changed . but hey , tell me straight . shall clear it up soon . if you still choose to believe others , friends like you i need not care . & for you , boy , disappointed with you . you chose to dao me because of others , hate it . you are changing , i'm not the only one who says so . i hate the new you = = go away ! ):

i want to live everyday with no regrets (:

2010-05-13T19:32:00.006+08:00

hello loves :> hee , 2nd post of the day . after exams i'm frigging free luh . hmm , suppose to go hospital just now , in the end sick till very serious then didn't ): hmm . then got slightly better after an afternoon nap , whee (: then Kimberlyn came my house for a while , chatted while she waited for her father to pick her up after going to her friend's house . had a heart to heart talk with her for 1hour manzxc ;D awesome . been so long . miss her many can , every since moved house hardly even met her . wow , caught up alot with her . our lives been so drama lah , but it's okay for me now .

i'm a HAPPY HAPPY girl yeah ! :D i know i sound childish , but idc (: so babe , i know your worries , but hey .. really , cheerup alrights ? i'm always here , you know it . loveyou forever , ttdc&ttm ! meetup again soon for heart to heart yeah . hmm , bored now . just now Caleb call me , ask me go out , i cannot cause suppose to go hospital . so sad luh . haha , been .. hmm , exactly one week since i last met that awesome Gor of mine ): nvrm , meet with him soon bah . sianzxc , once again - alot of backstabbers . that sucks .

but nvrm , i'm done with counting so much on friends alr anyway . i've God's love , care & concern . what else matters ? nothing , cause he'll protect me through it all (: tskk , i want entertainment uh babeyhs . i'm so bored . still listening to 'The Veronicas' songs ! woots . hmm .. tmrw Friday liao siah ! can't wait , awesomeeeeeee . meeting Danette & Adriena for lunch then heading off to HOGC for movie screening of Passion Of Christ ! haha (: i want to get highlights manzxc :o okay , random . hmm , Red Rain is coming soon ! :D come faster please , i'm looking so darn forward to it ! till here for now , going for dinner !

smiling is not a way to hide a broken smile but rather, it is a way to hold on to whatever happiness that is left.

SARA : TAGGZ! hahahahaha. LUV UR POST!
Reply : Thanks for the tag girl ! I know you only love that post cause got your name right (: hee , & like you said , made you famous ! HAHA .

AFFLINTAN, ♥ : LOL, who backstabbed you? Dont mind telling me? ):
Reply : LOL , told you liao (:

SylviaL : Taggies Eunice(:
Reply : Thanks girl (: beeteeww , what's your blog link ?

T : haha I luv your tagboard mans, the type message part is so gigantic *smiles* you clip up fringe without specs damn chio okay (:
Reply : LOL , i know (: i love it too , awesome right . specially for you der ! haha . meetup soon okay love :> & will meh ? but with specs i look like some kuku i tell you . haha , & thanks for the compliment !

what gives you the right of it ?

2010-05-13T11:25:00.007+08:00

heyheyhey humans ;P woots ! today was the frigging last paper , awesome ! hee . a post before i go & make lunch , feeling kinda hungry ler ): tskk . firstly , put back the cbox liao . don't need any disgusting comments yeah , & if you want to comment or scold , please do not be humji yeah , but your own name (: hee . today was Maths paper 1 , tskk .. nvr do 1 question . but i got alot more which i don't know uh = = die , hope won't fail . anyways , MYE are over ! let me take a break before final year exams bah . hmm hmm , sianzxc die now . today .. had a fun bus10 ride back to Tamp with Sara Tan yeah (: thanks babe . talked all the way till she alighted .

she missed her stop :/ oops ! haha . anyway , bus-ed back to tamp , two big rounds arnd tamp listening to songs . awesome (: i've fallen in love with 'The Veronicas' recently , their songs are awesome . i go gaga over songs , not over singers der . not the typical girl you know ? well , i'm different . call me weird , call my unique , i'm the one&only , that's all i know :> haha . bored now .. gonna cook noodles ltr , hungry ): haha . i'm broke now . many friends keep borrowing money from me , damn bo money now . haha . anyway , alot of pimples growing on my face recently siah ): sad lah deyh . gonna start being vain , take care of face ler . hee .

pinning up fringe from today onwards unless i go out with friends bah ? haha . i look like some major kuku with my fringe clipped up & with specs siah :/ Elena say i look better without them but my eyes so ugly ): don'twant bah . maybe wearing contacts tmrw or Sat ! hee , Sara influenced me (: heh . changing alot recently , learning to appreciate the things i have . but some people seem to not . still backstabbing ? hais ): thought she has changed you know .. disappointed . i am angry , but the hurt , sadness & disappointment is bigger than the anger . you know why ? cause i forgave her over & over again for backstabbing , & yet .. she does it again .

what a fool i am to believe you would change (: hee , nvrm . you also not my school , class der . i care for ? don't need to see your face everyday . hopefully won't so unlucky walk walk walk see you bah . treated you as a friend , you want do backstab etc etc ? okay , sure (: go ahead . but please don't coming begging to me to peih you go out with you when your backstabbing clique , backstabs you like how you do to everyone . don't come telling me your clique all backstabbers , & that you want a true friend . cause i'll tell you right now , YOU DON'T DESERVE A TRUE FRIEND ! :D okayokay , till here now . shall go & prepare my lunch , starving ): byeeee babeyhs !

what right do you have to ask for a true friend , when you are not one yourself ?
don't want people backstabbing you ? don't backstab them first yeah ? ;P
having a true friend is a gift , a privilege , NOT a given right .
so cherish them , don't take advantage of it by backstabbing ..
or you'll regret it ! & guess what ? i won't pity you (:

it's been long since i didn't have to fake a smile .

2010-05-12T21:47:00.006+08:00

Hello you kuku faces (: hee , i'm damn damn high now ! sorraye ! hahahaha :P many many thanks & love to Elena Lim for the awesome day today okay ! iloveyou tons hor hor hor . mai pui ah , or else i kill you (: though found out smth damn damn sad , i'm still high cause of just now ._. no , i'm not abnormal . it's just that i'm gonna pray for him & i know that God will make everything okay , so i need not worry (: tmrw is final paper ! AWESOME :D only one hour leh the Maths paper , kinda waste my time ): but nvrm ! last paper & it's over . wonder tmrw who is free to peih me slack till 2pm or so ? (: hee , afterwards need go hospital . someone dear to me has been admitted in the hospital .. sad .

i hope he'll get well & go through the surgery tmrw successfully . i'll pray hard ! anyway , you know hor , that CalebNg right , make me feel like dying my hair ): him & Theon that time talk talk talk , say want dye , then discuss colour etc etc , now i feel like highlighting my hair , put blue streaks :D but no .. i won't do it lah (: look like some lian , hee . plus , i don'twant to damage me hair . so forget it :/ haha . anyway , today actually after use finish comp planning to sleep der ._. but then that Elena call me say want come my house cause don'twant go home so early , so she come over . after everyone in my house left , we drink the last can of Heineken in my house (: shared , so not really alcoholic uh . not that shiok , but nvrm (: hee . went damn damn high afterwards .

nope , not drunk . just very happy only , haha . then me&Elena very very happy , then she hor , don'twant drink without adding coke . so went downstairs buy with her . in the end bought the usual from GreenApple - cheese fries & crispy chicken ( yumyum ! ) . then we go back upstairs , she drink ( i alr drink finish uh ) , i eat the food . then we at my comp table eat eat & play the Gold Miner . haha , idc if it's lame , it was fun hor hor hor ! :D then jiu like that , blast music , very very happy , keep smiling smiling . then we camwhored for a while then jiu send her busstop , peih her wait for double deck 28 . woah , forever manzxc :/ hee , talk talk talk while waiting , she over thr sing sing sing 'Baby' . & i kept interrupting , hee . then Caleb call me , then we talk talk .

pangseh-ed Elena a little , frigging SORRY BABE ! but at least she can finish her chorus without my interruptions , haha :/ then talk for a while , 7:15pm liao , needed to rush home for tuition . so walked off , cause she with her friend . then i walk halfway , he gtg , so kup . then walk till lift , Elena call me . say the bus she never board cause full = = then i feel guilty , make her wait alone , walk back , then walk almost reach , bus come ! wth :> nvrm nvrm .. haha , then walked back home otp-ing . afterwards my tuition teacher come then kup . tuition was okay bah :/ hee , still high from just now to now . just not that high alr ._. LOL ! majorly sianzxc now . wheeeee , nothing to do ): entertainment please come flying to me ! - 5mins later - awe = =

not entertainment now , is anger . eeyer , wth . wondering what happened ? backstabbers alert ! tskk . fedup , majorly . i guess i'm going to stop counting so much on my friends bah . too many backstabbers around me , tskk . right before my eyes i can see 2 flying before my eyes . & they still dare to say like they are such good friends , disgust me . forget it , true friends need not be said , they prove themselves & you can feel it in you heart (: but honestly , i'm still hurt&disappointed .. hais :/ i was actually so close with Person A & Person B , but then someone backstab me , then Person B who i thought changed backstabbed me AGAIN , sianzxc , & this time pull Person A along .

wth siah .. today good mood suddenly become bad mood . hais , forget it . i'm gonna try to go to sleep soon . i'm gonna blast up my music , lie on my bed , relax myself , bring myself to my lalaland , that fantasy world & go to sleep soon ( hopefully ) (: hee . & then tmrw wakeup i'll be happy again ! you know why ? i've been through enough to be smart enough to ignore & just be happy without those people ! but seriously , thought you changed , but you played me for a fool . but nvrm , you want to backstab , let it be (: i've true friends around , whom will show not by words but actions . & i'm happy now , not gonna let people whose not worth it ruin it . okay , major tired now ! shall go carry out my plan , night people (: p/s : CLICK ON MY NUFFNANG PLEASE&THANKYOU :D

don't wish for a true friend if you are not one yourself (:

no point of life without any pain (:

2010-05-12T11:35:00.013+08:00

Hi readers ;> wow , today was a boring day . though meaningful , hah . anyw , ytd believe it or not , many things happened . woah . damn alot , got happy got sad , but those problems don't matter , cause i am happy now ! ;) hee . i've God , so what else matters ? i said i'm gonna give God the best years of my life , so i mean what i'm gonna say . BGR , please make way okay (: hee . seriously , not planning to get into another BGR for now . crushes are smth i can't control :/ i'm still .. sorta waiting for him bah (: heh , once i've fallen into BGR at this age , i can't pull away . sorraye !

lol . he says he also has feelings for me but .. hey , he has alot of problems now , he should focus on them & for it to solve will take forever = = so me & him the future will have to see (: other than him will not be steading i guess . me & Ken broke ._. he has to focus on his studies , agreed . & me giving God the best years of my life means that i cannot get distracted from Him ! ;P ohh , removed my tagboard . i don't mind their comments , doesn't bother me or anything . but the words are very disgusting manzxc = = hmm , so you want to comment ? go ahead bah !

add me in msn ( dancelivel-ovelaugh@hotmail.com ) , or text me to scold ( 97762072 ) yeah ;D haha . ohh , can't wait for Friday ! it's gonna be awesome luh . meeting Danette & maybe Adriena for lunch , then going to HOGC for movie screening of Passion Of Christ ! ohmygosh , can't wait ! another event i'm looking very forward to is Red Rain ! yeah ! haha ;P woots . i'm suddenly quite high now , lol . today was science paper , i think gonna fail ): sad uh *sobs* . i tell you uh ..

one of my teacher is bias . always catch my hair der = = i today alr damn guai okay , clip up fringe , look like some kuku , only like .. 5strands of hair she ask me clip up fringe , then other people the ENTIRE fringe let down never tio , wth ): guailan . anway .. then after science paper , bused back to tamp then take 2big rounds arnd tamp while listening to songs & absorbing the reality . then i saw one bangla over thr pose pose siah , damn funny . he stay like that for the entire time the traffic light red leh .

then after the whole journey , jiu happy ler (: hee . my life's quite boring now .. but nvrm , i'm happy . the main point of living is to be happy . that's why .. living is the rarest thing in this world , most people just exist , that's all . which is really very sad , so i'm gonna live my life to the fullest , emphasising on the LIVE okay ! ;D haha . hope all of you will too . tmrw dance is cancelled , sad ): but nvrm , i need go to the hospital anyw ._. heh . okayokay , till here for now ! ;D i shall go & beautify my bible . need to stick the chapters anyw , see if i can find it first :x lol , okayokay , byeeeeeeeeeeee .

you can't have a rainbow without any rain .

i'm an optimist if you really know me (:

2010-05-11T13:43:00.007+08:00

Hey readers ! feeling kinda high now , lol :/ today the mood weird weird der . good good good , then bad mood , then good mood , then bad mood , then now high ._. hahaha . siaozharbor , inherited from Elena , tskk . hee (: don't feel like posting bout ytd bah , sad story ): lol . hmm , anyway . i'm a happy girl , do you people know ? ;D there's always a hint of smile & happiness behind every tear i've shed & every pain i've got . there's a beauty for every flaw people (: haha . so judge me & i'll prove you wrong !

but you won't be able to see the change unless you take off that tinted glasses yeah ! haha (: going to HOGC has really changed me alot , woah . i'm gonna give God the best years of my life & always put him first , so everything step aside yeah (: hee . i miss dance ! Temasek Freestylers have stopped for so frigging long , miss it manzxc ): awe . nvrm , this Thurs got TNPS International Dance ! going back (: long time never see MissLiu & Mr. Gerard anyw ;O lol . this morning is literature paper , sucks . don'tknow how to do luh , see people (: i am stupid . muahahha . hmm , afterwards , bus-ed back to Tamp .

on the bus was quite good mood , then afterwards .. step out of bus saw Felicia , her clique , Darrentoh & his new girlf . haha . Darrentoh ruined my mood = = humji lai der . no guts & mei you yong der guy . shuo hua bu shuan shu . damn pissed after seeing him . Felicia pangseh her friends to peih me lunch caude the Darrentoh don'twant me thr just cause i'm his ex ? useless guy & i was damn pissed off with him manzxc ! bad mood whole day , after lunch Felicia went to find her boyf(: hee . then i was planning to take bus go around tamp then go back home .then jiu suddenly saw baby at inter ._.

then called him , he pangseh his friends peih me take 2rounds around tamp then go friend's house do project . hee , awesome (: love him . made me so damn happy uh ! after that , met Elena . slack slack slack , she was effing high can (: damn funny luh . say what want to fly fly fly ._. siao eh . met another Eunice ( Elena's friend ) , lol , damn funny . 2 Eunice(s) , twin devils she say ? :/ then jiu good mood like hell , suddenly .. mood jump into the pool . gone liao :/ then jiu sianzc , so decided to go home lor . haha , wonder why mood swing so much recently ? unsure . nvrm nvrm , hope it will get better soon . i think cause i recently like insomnia .

cannot sleep so getting grouchy :x yikes ! haha . very = = you know :/ recently i bad mood , is want all the good sisters&girlfriends to peih me then all the guys to siam far far , but then the reality is opposite . resulting in a even badder mood . sorry uh friends ): know i damn dao , attitude recently . but i'm changing (: give me chance hor hor hor . lol . miss bi ): he damn busy cause of 'O' levels leh . but nvrm , must ren . plus , we'll break or not also will not affect anything , promised liao(: so i'm happy ! wheee . people , look at me okay (: open your eyes big big & see who i really am , & stop judging & hating the person you THINK i am .

i'm a girl in this world , whose attitude sucks ttdc&ttm , is ugly , short , stupid & fat , offend people easily ,
never watches her mouth , damn dao at times , have major moodswing & attitude problems .
but i'm changing , so stop your judgement to see (:

these people , i do not bother .

2010-05-10T22:05:00.004+08:00

hello loves :> been quite long since i last posted , sorraye . exams recently , & don't really have the time . hee , recently , many passerbys have been at my blog , scolding etc etc (: nvrm yeah , let them be . i don't agree with what they do , but i gotta respect their opinions . some things they say are true , but please do not insult my friends yeah . or my boyfriend = = tskk . anyway , nothing much recently . life is boring . bi never really got time to peih me cause of 'O' levels , but nvrm (: hee , meeting him tmrw to slack .

then afterwards meeting Elena laopo that siaozharbor to slack . haha . lost some weight recently , still fat though :/ lol . ytd nothing much bah , stuck at home all day . bi pangseh me go study , but at night got peih me luh (: ytd Theon made my day ! thanks uh . he ytd peih me talk for 3hours++ then went to GreenApple meet him cause his mother at my house opposite do facial . lol , then Mothers' Day dinner afterwards . sianzxc uh . that's bout all bah (: today was a suckish day . shall talk it next time . otp with Elena now (: byeeeeeeee .

if you don't know me , don't judge me .

You showed me i didn't have to give up on love .

2010-05-09T11:33:00.003+08:00

090510 ; 9thMay2010 ; 11:30am ♥
Boy , i'm yours & you are mine (:
You showed me i didn't have to give up on love cause i had you .
I'm gonna hold you tight & not let you got this time , cause this time ...
Ken , iloveyou .

I'm gonna live despite the obstacles .

2010-05-09T11:05:00.004+08:00

Heyya babeyhs :/ actually good mood , father just spoiled it = = came in to invade my privacy , wth .. hais . nvrm .. anyway , had a frigging awesome day with HOGC people ytd ! :D many thanks to them yeah . haha . went without Felicia ytd , sad & shocking . usually if i go to church with my friends , won't go unless they did . but this time different oh ._. haha . sad that Felicia couldn't go ytd , the main service was awesome ! made me learn to how to appreciate my mother more (:

so this Mothers' Day , did smth for her . hee , nothing much bah , but sincerity that counts ! really opened up my eyes ytd . cried during service , trying to hold back the tears , guilt was killing me . should not have been so rude etc etc to her last time . yes , she loved my brother more .. but hey , she loves me too right ? & she was the one who brought me up , sacrificing her time to do all the things for me . well , i'm gonna start to love her , embrace her & cherish her while she's still here .

cause i know i'm gonna cry & miss her when she's gone . & i'm gonna regret for the rest of my life ): hmm . next year's Mothers' Day i'm gonna do smth very very grand ! hee (: waiting for mother to wake up now . hmm . in a dilemma now ): i really want to give my ALL to HOGC ! but hais .. Siqi is still at Charis , & i'll feel so bad to pangseh her thr . Brendan also ): those 2 are the ones i most cannot let go .. hee , how ah ? oh well . gotta decide soon . service for Charis & HOGC crashes next Sat ! D:

life seems to be going well .. for now (:

2010-05-08T12:20:00.004+08:00

Hey readers :> how's life for all of you ? hope it is doing well just like me oh . life is not very good for me , but it is going quite well .. so yeah , hais . recently before my attitude is damn bad , sorraye friends ): i guess , everything's just changing & i hate changes so .. hmm . but nvrm , i'm okay now ;P ytd night i was frigging high uh . all thanks to Raymun & Kennedy (: haha . first i was okayokay , then Raymun called me , chat chat chat , got damn high .

hee , he is one of those friends who understands me , not totally .. but better than others ! awesome ;P then i was damn high , can't fall asleep , so otp-ed with Theon . wlao , talk with him can spit blood (: LOL . but nvrm , thanks for peih-ing me anyway , lol . then after kup , i can't fall asleep , then jiu text with Garrick & Kennedy . Garrick quite boring uh , but texting with Kennedy kept me smiling for the entire night (: haha , awesome way to end off my day ! woots .

but i also texting with this freaking irritating guy . i bo reply keep spam spam spam . wlao , irritating can ? tsk , boy .. i alr made it so obvious i don't like you , can you just stay away ? hais .. this morning wakeup also tio spam by him , sianzxc ! = = anyway , going to meet Iris at 3:30pm for church , awesome ;P haha . not going to Charis though , going to HOGC , Felicia&Ervins' church(: hee . though the 2 of them not going , i'm still gonna go . cause you go to church mainly for God , not for friends . haha ;D till here for now bah , byeee .

can it be that i'm falling for you ?

I laugh despite the tears in my eyes (:

2010-05-07T16:45:00.019+08:00

Hello babes&dudettes :> back here to post as mentioned in my previous post !

Yesterday&Today .
hmm , usual thing in the morning (: then went to school . geog paper , lol . i did smth damn stupid luh . firstly , answered ques1 of section C on the same writing paper as A&B . next , cancelled off the entire question 1 & copied it onto a fresh piece of paper . then did all 3 questions , stupid right ? waste my time . then last minute cancelled off my question2 . haha , surprisingly , i finished the entire paper with time left to make sure i did everything(: lol .

Those 2 idiots sprayed water at my foolscap & maths workbook ! :/

some people no time to complete , hee . okay , after geog paper . bus-ed back to Tamp with my 2idiots , Dec&Ryan . they were like .. idiots on the bus . but we were not the nosiest . then got this malay guy infront of us , talk to us ._. we don't even know him . teenager uh , quite shuai leh (: haha . okayokay , then after the noisy people got off , alot better . but those 2 idiots still .. noisy . haha . they keep making me laugh like retard . reached inter , took 291 , 2 big rounds .

Ryan is not masturbating even though it looks like he is .
He's trying to wipe off the water Dev splashed on his pants ! LOL .

stupid Dev , scared of me , so in the end i sat with Ryan -.-" then got off at library . we walked to my house , they waited outside while i change clothes , take money etc etc . then Dev keep saying what i obscene , got pissed off . lol . then we went S-11 eat , then off to library . talked about alot of things on the way there . then at library , try to study , in the end didn't / those two idiots kept playing with the bottle i poked a hole in , lol (:

Dev doing a random stupid face :P

then 3 of us like retard , the librarian keep ask us lower down volume . then afterwards , went to the playground play . actually is they play , i like some retard sit thr watch them . haha , left soon . went home , on the bus Caleb called me . then we jiu chat chat chat , i reach home still talking . then after half an hour or so , we kup phone . i went to bathe etc etc , then go into my room rest . then he called me again , talk talk talk for an hour or so , kup again .

Me trying to take picture then Ryan that idiot come extraaaaaa (:

then i go & sleep . sleep for half an hour jiu wakeup . then washed up etc etc , he call me again . haha , then he ask if want meetup revise tgt (: so washed up etc etc , sneaked out to meet him . mother was out at doing manicure , then i lied to brother say i passing friends stuff for project etc etc . sneaked out meet him ler , waited for 5mins or so , he came down . study , revise etc etc , my science sucks uh . lucky got him help me (: haha , awesome Gor of mine .

he read few pages , keep laughing at the people (: haha , damn cute siah . then flip few pages , jiu do pumping . he doing training , lol . he seems to be like exercising instead of studying . then we jiu crap crap crap . then Raymun came over (: they over thr gay on the ground luh . then my mother start calling me , i jiu rushed back home . heng , never tio caught , hehe ;P then reached home , bathe again etc etc , at night .. very high luh . but then near midnight suddenly my heart aching like shit then i start crying , don't even know why . i thought i was over him ?

& then again .. was i even crying for him ? :/ anyway , went to sleep at 1am++ , then woke up at 11am cause Ken wanted to come over . then washed up , he came my house . then we over there talk talk talk , crap , slack , then he help me with science & lit (: but my literature still .. epic fail luh ._. haha . i still don't understand . then we went for lunch , then back home . we keep laughing siah , like idiot . he really made my day today (: thanks boy . lol , i am like , frigging high luh . he just went back home(: i then finally got time to post . or else he over thr keep disturbing me .

haha ;P that's about my day for these 2 days bah ? haha (: till here for today , shall post again next time . hee (: my e-revision i only did maths , will die anot ah ._. hee , nvrm lah , byeeeeeeeeeeeeee .

everyone breaks down once in a while , i do too .

Hate me or love me , that's what makes me .

2010-05-06T21:24:00.003+08:00

Hello loves (: recently i've fallen in love with Rihanna's 'Russian Roulette' . awesome song , idc if it is old . lol . today i am in a frigging good mood . has been going high since after school , haha . short post for today , will only go into details when posting tmrw as i am friggin tired . haha . today , geog paper , after school , library & lunched with Dev&Ryan , those 2 idiots kept making me laugh , lol . then 1pm++ went back home , otp-ed with Caleb , went to sleep . 6pm++ , sneak out meet Caleb , studied , Raymun came , then soon i gtg cause mother calling liao :/ if don't zhao will die . haha (: that's all bah , simple but awesome day . haha . (L)you'll readers yeah . i'm frigging high now ! hmm . bored , anyone call me up & peih me talk on phone yeah ? lol , okayokay . byeeee .

one sweet injection to end the pain .

The only person who will never betray you .. is you .

2010-05-05T22:53:00.006+08:00

sometimes it just isn't my fault i'm unsure of everything & everyone around me .
everything just seems to be falling apart . who can i trust now .. ? who are true & who are not ? i seriously don't know .. & i guess , i'm just afraid of the dissappointment all over again . getting betrayed by my friends is a pain i cannot take .. my friends are everything to me .. life is gone without them . but the thing is , friends that are not true , i need not want . but my true friends , i'm starting to doubt . sometimes it seems as though my existance is a bother , & that they don't need me anymore . but everytime i try to end it .. they come & tell me they need me .mind is getting screwed . i am thankful i have God in my life ..the reason why i'm holding on . but life just seems pointless without my friends .. maybe i should lock everyone out ..

i'd rather be alone, protected, then hurt by the people i care most about..
& i'd rather trust no one, then the wrong one .

Game over once again & no more restart .

2010-05-05T18:48:00.006+08:00

Over you(: the game has been played too long & i'm done . sick & tired of putting up a false front ..
i just want the guy who sees through it all , & turns my fake smile into a true one .
so in the mean time , take a gun , count to three & just pull the trigger at my heart .
or just take a knife & stab it through . i'll take any pain just to stop my heart from loving & beating .
no longer afraid of getting hurt cause i've been through it too many times . so break my heart for the final time ...
& put it into coma till the right guy comes to awaken it . ♥

1st day of the war ):

2010-05-04T15:05:00.006+08:00

Heyya peeps . first day of exam today , english . lol , confirm pass , but the grade .. ? haha , boweigong luh :/ today damn suay , in sch Mdm Asnia keep aim my hair , then after sch on bus back home got few act lians come find me . tsk , those girls no life uh . haha (: anyway , ytd turned out quite okay bah . hmm .. after reached home , studied for like .. 1hr++ , really kay ! & Felicia , i'm not angry luh (: haha , nvrm der ! peih boyf , you happy , can liao .

study finish , Kowit called . then change clothes & went to TM to meet Kowit , Caleb & Theon for movie . went thr , metup . buy ticket , in the end went CS watch . before movie start walk here walk there , arcade arnd thr slack . then movie starting , go in theatre . then Caleb&Theon over thr fight fight , lol . then Kowit keep on " 对不起，不认识 " ! haha . damn funny . i kept laughing , rolling eyes , laugh again . the scene was really frigging funny luh !

then movie start , watched IP Man 2 . quite nice uh (: meaningful in a sense i guess ? lol . after movie , all went seperate way . thanks for the day guys . then i walk till inter , Caleb call me , say he need my help . then i walk all the way back to CS , go round & round find him . in the end never do anything , walk back inter tgt . lol , lame , i know . then bus-ed back home . talk abit abit on the bus . talk till half way my stop ler , lol . alight , he sumpa call me that night .

that night , otp-ed with Angeline . told her smth . hais , those people better becareful , don't say i never warn siah .. they tio anything , none of my business ler . who ask them go "disturb" my friends . then after kup phone with Angeline , Caleb call me . he very sick siah , think he caught a cold in movie theatre . so asked him go rest , talk tmrw (: then comp , jiu tried to sleep . epic failure . took me like .. 3hrs or so to sleep .

only slept 3hrs last night . then jiu get ready go school , etc etc . today still okay bah . life in Temasek average uh .. prefer hanging out with outside friends maybe ? :/ hmm . anyway , life's about the same . friendship with her back , but guess not so close ler ._. nvrm bah . haha . i'm still living my life everyday with the usual fake smile & mask . won't you take it off for me ? till here for now .. byebye (:

maybe i'm just too scared to let my guard down ..

My mind might be clear but my heart sure isn;t '

2010-05-03T22:41:00.007+08:00

I hate you . Why did you have to appear in my life again ... ? & this time , with her . Seeing you with her & without me kills me inside . I can't help but cry .. Why did you have to be so heartless back then ? Why could you not break me down slowly , but so fast .. I couldn't take the pain . You are the reason why i dare not love again . & there you are .. leading your life perfectly without me , while i'm here .. Leading my life better then ever till today , when my heart died again when i saw you with a new girl . I'm not that kind who'd run away from reality .. but honestly , i wished i didn't see you again today . You are making my heart even more scrwed then it alr is ! Why am i like this ? Why can't i just forget about the past , ignore the present & move on to my future ? Why ?

JH , I'm sorry to keep you waiting .. but boy , my mind is clear & conscious but my heart seems to love drunk . I don't want you to wait for me . Can't you just get over me ? I'm not worth it . You mean alot to me , as a friend , as a bestieh . But as anything more , i'm not sure . My past is still haunting me , it still kills me to see my ex with his new girlfriend . I'm still not so over __ , he's putting my heart on hold . I'm over my past but it is still impossible to walk away , i'm not over the present ... so tell me , how could i ever move to the future ? It isn't you , but me . I'm sorry , stop waiting ): i've said tmrw over & over . & up till now , i'm still procrastinating . what is so good about me ? i know i mean alot to you , but you just broke with your girlfriend , are you really ready ? Your exams are here & yet you are being an idiot , staying up for an answer i can't give you .. i'm sorry . But i'd rather be the bad guy , reject you or make you wait then to play you . I can't bear to even risk our friendship for some thing i'm unsure of . So sorry .. i can't say "Yes" till the moment i can love you & only you wholeheartedly . Guys like you are no longer existing , how could i bear to break you ?

Argh , so hard to study with friends .

2010-05-03T14:58:00.003+08:00

Hey loves . short post . wlao , it is freaking hard to study with friends can ? hais . suppose to study with Kowit , Theon , Felicia & Eugene . Eugene say got smth important , thought what siah . in the end is go out with friends , wth -.- then sianzxc . don'twant meet ler . Theon come slack slack only . Kowit want go play arcade then Felicia pangseh me go find her boyf . whatthehell -.- sianzxc siah . forget it bah , study alone better(:

2hours of History ! here i come . lol . hmph , mood freaking fedup recently . getting pissed off over little things . ltr meeting Caleb&Theon for movie . now mood lost , don't know want to or not . nvrm bah , Theon call me ler then decide . just now waste 1hr plus walk here walk there decide what to eat , after that tio pangseh ): lol . whatthehell . but nvrm , had fun during lunch(: & Theon can really eat alot , woah . lol . Felicia ! now equal ler ! (: LOL . bye deariehs .

P.s. i'm not really angry , just fooling around . LOL .

I keep on forgetting to forget about you .

2010-05-03T09:58:00.004+08:00

Hello hello (: have not been studying like i said i would & was suppose to . i'm so dissappointed in me ! ): but nvrm , ltr EugeneC , Felicia & Kowit coming my house study(: confirm will be able to get some studying done . haha ! nothing much these few days , stuck at home all day yesterday .. can die siah , haiyo . at night otp-ed with Theon , then awhile Caleb . hais , screwed up love life currently .

i want to let go , i want to forget about you . but your words keep me holding on . & idk what you are doing , seriously . calling me up times× just to beat about the bush . when are you gonna give me a direct answer boy ? anyway , i'm sick&tired of it alr . can't you just give me one straight answer ? when we met , you said " i'll call you tonight , cause i need to go home & think about it " i don't even know why you need to .

i'm not asking you a question , i'm saying a "fact" which you made me believe is not true . then that night call me , beat around bush , then you cannot talk ler . say call me next day . okay .. next day , called me after church , beat around the bush . reach main subject , say " now not the time leh . i tell you tonight kay . " so i waited , you didn't call . next day tell me you got call etc etc , phone spoil etc etc . hais , forget it . idk what to do anymore . but boy , if you are just playing , this game is not fun anymore ..

i need your answer , so that i can give him an answer right ? i need my feelings sort out before being in another relationship . i'm keeping him waiting , day & day , i tell him " next day " . i don't want to play him , so can't you just give me a straight answer boy ? but i don't even know what's your problem . you have a girlfriend ! but you still say these things to me , & now .. you tell me you want to break with her . you're messing up my feelings boy ! ):